


Just a Look

by rachelovesklaine



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Future Fic, M/M, New York City
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-30 00:57:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelovesklaine/pseuds/rachelovesklaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine Anderson hates parties, and it is obvious that he's a fish out of water when he finds himself at the biggest college party of the year. But after he meets Kurt, a mysterious boy who takes him to explore New York City, he might just have the greatest night of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! So this is my new WIP. I am going to try to update as quickly as possible but I'm in school and the workload is pretty rough. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: Extremely brief mention of past dubcon.

Blaine Anderson had an extremely quiet college life. He didn't go to many parties or stay out drinking all night with his friends. As a matter of fact, most of the past four years had consisted of getting up every morning, going to class, going back to his crappy apartment, studying, and sleeping. That's why when he was asked to go to the NYU end of the year party (which could be described as the most important party of a college student's entire existence), he was pretty skeptical.

"Everyone is going to be there," Wes explained as his friends tried to persuade him into attending at least one party that year.

"I don't know…" Blaine took a sip of his coffee and stared at his two friends, who didn't seem like they were going to leave the coffee shop without a confirmation that he would be attending the party.

"Come on Blaine, it's going to be in a freaking penthouse," David chimed in, not adding much to the cause.

When Blaine didn't seem like he was going to give in, Wes gave one final sales pitch. "You haven't been to a party since when, freshman year? I know things got out of hand last time, but this one will be different. You'll have fun, Blaine, David and I will make sure of it."

Realizing that his friends only had his best interests at heart, Blaine finally agreed, feeling that he might as well have at least one real college experience before he graduated. With graduation only a few weeks away, he didn't have much time left. And if it would make his friends happy, he could bear one simple, little party.

Although this party was anything but little.

It was on the top floor of an expensive apartment complex in the Upper East Side. Blaine had never really seen places that looked as expensive as this one, the whole floor being occupied by this one penthouse. He assumed it belonged to one of the guys in his business class, able to pay their way through college without lifting a single finger.

"This is going to be the best night of our lives!" David screamed over the loud base of the song playing as they walked in the door. Their jackets were immediately taken from them before being offered a shot to start off the night. Blaine declined, but both Wes and David took one, giving Blaine no hope that they would be level-headed by the night's end.

As Blaine looked around, he noticed that there was absolutely no one at the party he knew. Yes, maybe he'd had classes with a few here and there, but no one he'd ever actually held a conversation with seemed to be in attendance. The party had only started a little over an hour before and everyone either looked drunk or was getting there. The area that was cleared for a dance floor was filled with half dressed women grinding up on attractive men with beers in their hands.

Everywhere Blaine turned he was being offered alcohol or a dance, which he politely turned down every time. The whole party felt like a nightclub filled with college students, minus the smoking, which Blaine could have assumed was being done in the bathrooms.

Wes and David had left him about twenty minutes after they'd arrived, finding it impossible to get Blaine to move out of the back corner near the kitchen. Blaine didn't want to ruin anyone else's fun, but the party was becoming too much for him to take.

"Hey," he heard someone call from behind him. When he was turned around he was surprised to see a thin brunette girl in a black cocktail dress, which was practically falling off of her. She took a shot of what she had in her hand and rested her arm on one of his shoulders. "You wanna dance?" She asked rather loudly so she could be heard over the music.

"No thanks," he responded, trying to shake her arm off of his shoulder. It wasn't just that he was gay that he didn't want to dance with the girl, but the fact that she seemed too intoxicated to even speak clearly.

"Oh come on…don't be so uptight." She started to loosen his bow-tie and pulled closer to him. "Please?" She pouted, the alcohol on her breath making Blaine want to gag. "You've looked so lonely all the way over here by yourself."

As the girl tried to corner him Blaine quickly pulled away. "I have to…" He looked around and saw a hallway that seemed to lead to the bedrooms. "I have to use the restroom," he forced out, practically running in the opposite direction.

"Don't be too long!" She called after him, although Blaine didn't really have any intention of ever going back.

There were a few people lingering in the back of the suite, most were either making out or waiting for the bathroom near the middle of the hallway. Blaine decided that his best shot of finding some form of quiet would be the bedrooms. The first door he opened contained a bedroom with two people inside who were presumably having sex, although Blaine couldn't really tell because he closed the door faster than he had opened it. Most of the doors Blaine passed by were locked, except for the last one, which wasn't locked but cracked open.

There wasn't any sound coming from the room and the lights were off, so Blaine decided to go in, knowing he wouldn't do the room any harm. This room was obviously the master bedroom, and was probably bigger than his whole apartment. After a few moments of being stunned by the shear massiveness of the room, Blaine closed the door slowly and locked it, not wanting anyone to walk in and find him there.

Blaine was relieved that he didn't have to suffer through the party anymore, and the room seemed cozy enough to spend a few hours in. He looked around for a few moments before finding a remote and turning on the television perched on the wall right in front of the large, king-sized bed. As he started to lie down on the bed, he noticed there was a door near the back of the room that seemed to open up to a balcony of some sort.

Blaine stared at it for a few moments before turning the TV off and walking to the back of the room, entranced by the amount of lights he could already see through the small windows on the doors.

As soon as he opened the doors his heart skipped a beat. His eyes focused on a man sitting on the ledge of the balcony, his feet dangling over the side.

The first thing that came to his mind was the worst. "Don't do it," he pleaded hastily.

The man on the ledge didn't even seem surprised, turning his head slightly to face Blaine. "Don't do what?" He asked, the light of the New York City skyline bouncing off the blue of his eyes. "I'm not going to jump, if that's what you're thinking."

It was exactly what Blaine was thinking. "What are you doing out here then?"

The brown-haired man gave a small smirk, the wind blowing his perfectly styled hair in every direction. "I might as well ask you the same question."

"I was trying to get away from the party," Blaine admitted. "It's not really my thing."

"A friend dragged you here too?" He asked, not moving from where he was settled on the edge of the balcony.

Blaine nodded, almost laughing at how readable he was. "Two actually."

The man, who didn't look much older than Blaine himself, nodded and turned back to face the rows of buildings lining the streets, "My friend made me come with her, even though she left me after the first five minutes." He took a deep breath and sighed. "It's much more peaceful out here anyway."

"Aren't you afraid?" Blaine interjected.

He seemed puzzled by Blaine's question. "Afraid of what?"

"Well, for starters, you're sitting on the ledge of a thirty story building."

"Hmm…" He looked around for a moment and then shrugged his shoulders. "Not really."

Blaine stood there in silence, wondering what to say. "Do you want something to drink?" The man on the ledge offered, interrupting his thoughts.

"Uhh, I don't really drink…alcohol." He answered, knowing those who didn't drink were usually the minority.

The stranger laughed and picked up a soda can that was sitting on the other side of him. "I didn't slip anything into it, I promise."

Blaine blushed and nodded, moving to the edge and retrieving the coke can before moving back against the wall near the door as fast as he could, trying not to get a glimpse of the road beneath them. "My name's Kurt by the way," he told Blaine. So, the man on the ledge had a name.

"Blaine."

"Your attire tells me you haven't been to many college parties," Kurt mentioned before taking a sip of his soda.

Blaine looked down at what he was wearing. It wasn't much different from what he usually wore. Black shoes, jeans rolled at the ankle because most were too long for him, and a cardigan topped off with a bow-tie, which was currently undone thanks to the girl back at the party. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" He defended, almost childlike.

"Nothing's  _wrong_ with it," Kurt explained. "It just seems like something much rather suited for business class than a college party with beer pong being played at almost every corner…And you're much too cute to have your hair plastered to your head with all that gel."

Blaine blushed and leaned against the wall of the balcony, slowly sliding down until he was in a sitting position, still able to keep Kurt in his vision. "How did you know I was a business major?"

"I didn't…But now I do." Kurt looked back at Blaine and smiled. "Do you always let everyone you meet know everything about you?"

"I could probably say the same thing about you," he countered.

"Oh really, so tell me what you know about me then."

Blaine thought for a few moments, realizing he didn't really know anything about him but his first name. "I…"

Kurt finally hopped off the ledge, which made Blaine sigh in relief, and sat next to him on the ground. "Come on, it's easy, watch." Kurt turned so he was facing Blaine straight on. "It's obvious you'd much rather be at your apartment either reading or studying right now than here. Which gives me evidence to believe you're introverted, which is fine, I am too, to an extent. Your clothes tell me you care way too much about what others think of you, along with your hair, gelled down to hide any imperfections. I can also tell you're naturally very caring, by the way you tried to stop a random guy on a balcony edge from jumping, although there was no need for you to do so. And the business thing was seriously a lucky guess, but you gave that one away easy."

Blaine's mouth almost dropped, his whole life being read to him with previously only a few exchanges of words.

"Oh, and you're afraid of heights," Kurt added.

"If I'm afraid of heights then why did I come out here?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You're honestly going to tell me you were going to go any further than the doorway?"

"Do you go here, to NYU?" Blaine asked, trying to get the subject off of his fear of heights.

Kurt grinned, realizing he had been just right."No, but my friend Santana goes here. I go to a fashion school a few blocks away."

"There you go," Blaine started pointing out, "I know you are a fashion designer."

"Your observation skills are incredible," Kurt gasped. Blaine couldn't help but laugh, the tension from the night slowly melting away. "I like your laugh," Kurt admitted. Blaine couldn't help as his cheeks turned red. "It's not forced…effortless."

"Can you tell anything else about me, besides that I laugh effortlessly?" Blaine grinned.

"Well, I could tell that you were really relieved to be away from that party. More relieved than just a regular person who doesn't like large groups of people would be by how flustered you were when you initially came out here. This leads me to believe there's another reason you don't want to be here tonight. Maybe something that has to do with how quickly you turned down what you thought was me offering you alcohol?"

Blaine's smiled faded and he looked away from Kurt, wondering if everyone he met could read him so easily.

"Sorry…" Kurt apologized. "You don't have to tell me anything."

"No, it's fine. It's just weird to think that you could see all of that just from knowing me for only a few minutes."

Kurt scooted closer so that they were shoulder to shoulder. "I'm sorry about whatever happened," he said sympathetically.

Blaine looked up at Kurt, who already knew more about him than most people he'd known for months. "If I told you, would you promise not to tell anyone?" Blaine felt like a child making promises like that, but the only people who'd ever known were Wes and David.

Blaine was unsure what Kurt was going to do for a few seconds, but to his surprise, Kurt gently placed his hand on Blaine's thigh and smiled reassuringly. "Cross my heart."

Blaine gave a small nod and started messing with one of the loose strings of his shirt. "The last time I was at a party was freshman year…I didn't go thinking I was going to drink, but everywhere I turned I was being offered more and more, picking random drinks off of the table because that's what everyone did." He took a deep breath, his voice becoming shaky and barely audible. "The last thing I remember from that night was a guy handing me a drink, and whispering something into my ear. When I woke up the next morning I was still in the house, naked on the bed in one of the upstairs bedrooms."

"So you don't remember any of it?"

Blaine shook his head. "One of my first real sexual experiences and I can't remember a thing…"

There were a few moments of silence before Kurt stood up, extending his hand. "Come on, I want to take you somewhere."

Blaine gave an obvious look of confusion and Kurt sighed, trying to take his hand. "Please Blaine? The night's not getting any younger."

Blaine looked up and Kurt and smiled softy. "Will ice cream be involved?"

"Only if you want it to be."

Blaine finally took Kurt's hand, leaving for one of the most memorable nights of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are no warnings for this chapter and I'd like to thank you all for reading!

Once they were out of the building, Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand again and started pulling him down through the mobs of people roaming the streets. Without any warning, Kurt started pulling Blaine faster and faster, until they were practically running down the sidewalk. Blaine didn't really know where they were going; only that it was in the direction of his apartment.

"Where are you taking me?" Blaine yelled over the sound of the bustling city, running out of breath.

"Somewhere," he called back, his face lighting up with excitement.

"And where might this 'somewhere' be?"

Kurt shrugged, slowing down a little. "I don't know…I just thought we'd wing it."

 _Wing it?_ "What-"

"When's the last time you went to Central Park?"

"I don't know…a few weeks ago?"

Kurt turned and pulled him across the street, not seeming to care about the moving traffic coming straight in their direction. Blaine tried to give quick apologies to the cars slamming on their breaks and honking their horns, wondering what could possibly be running through Kurt's mind.

Kurt stopped abruptly in front of the park, causing Blaine to trip over his feet.

"Jesus Christ," Blaine panted as he bent over and placed his hands on his thighs.

"Don't tell me that was too much for a guy who works out at least four times a week," Kurt deadpanned, crossing his arms and watching as Blaine stood up straight again.

"How do you know…?" Blaine decided to drop it, because he usually did try to work out almost every day.

As they started walking through Central Park, Kurt pondered what they could do as Blaine listened, still trying to figure out what they were even doing there.

"So it's almost ten. What's still open at ten?"

"Everything," Blaine muttered. It was true; New York wasn't called the city that never sleeps for nothing.

"Do you know how to ice skate?"

Blaine thought about it for a few moments. "Not really. I mean I've done it a few times. Why-"

There it was again, Kurt's hand gripping his own. Before Blaine could even think to protest Kurt was pulling him in the direction of a heavy group of people.

…

"I still don't know why I agreed to do this," Blaine said, holding on tight to the wall of the ice skating rink, trying to keep his balance.

"Because skating is fun." Blaine looked over to see Kurt skating in circles, easily gliding across the ice.

"Easy for you to say."

Kurt smirked while skating to stand with Blaine against the wall. "Fine, after this we'll do something you want to do."

"Thank you."

"But for now…" Kurt pried Blaine's hands off of the wall and pulled him into the middle of the rink. "You're going to learn how to skate."

Blaine tried his best to pull away but he knew if he let go of Kurt he would be on his ass. The last time he skated was at least two years ago, and he would be the first to admit he was awful at it.

"Just try to find your balance," Kurt explained as Blaine held on to his arms, trying to keep him standing straight.

Blaine wondered how anyone could possibly keep their balance with the ice being so slippery. He was just standing there and he was already a mess of wobbles and jerks, each movement causing Blaine to grip harder and harder onto Kurt's arms.

"You're not going to break, so stop worrying," Kurt told him. Blaine was obviously not convinced and Kurt rolled his eyes. "If you fall, you fall. That's how you get better."

"Couldn't we have picked a simpler activity…I'm pretty sure there are plenty of BINGO games in New York City that would love to have us," Blaine gritted out as he slowly started straightening himself up.

"See? You're doing great." Kurt smiled and started pulling Blaine to the outside edge of the skating rink. "Next step: moving."

Blaine gripped even tighter onto Kurt's arms as Kurt pulled him across the rink. Blaine tried his best not to hold his breath or show Kurt how nervous he was, but he was failing immensely at both. "I swear you're going to be alright, Blaine," Kurt assured him as they stopped near the outer edge of the rink.

Blaine nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay," Blaine said, finally loosening his grip on Kurt.

"Don't be afraid."

"Okay."

"We're going to start moving now."

"Okay."

"Blaine you need to let go of me."

"Oh," Blaine said, taking his hands off Kurt. He quickly tried to hold himself steady. Once he found his balance Blaine nodded at Kurt, showing him that he was ready.

Kurt gave Blaine a smug smile before racing off to where the rest of the skaters were circling the rink.

"Kurt!" Blaine yelled. "Wait!" Blaine looked around. There was no way he was going to make it over to Kurt without falling or getting run over. It was probably better for Kurt that Blaine didn't know how to skate because he wanted nothing more than to smack him.

What was Blaine doing? He was in Central Park ice skating with someone he had met not even an hour ago, and now he was standing in the cold alone. Blaine never did these kinds of things. Why should today be any different?

Blaine turned around to leave the rink, only to find Kurt standing behind him trying to regain his breath. "You didn't go after me," Kurt said stiffly, a smile that was once there falling from his lips as he noticed Blaine's expression.

"I can't skate, remember?" Blaine said, trying to move his way around Kurt without falling over.

"You could if you tried." Kurt looked out at the skaters, obviously avoiding Blaine's eyes. "I know you think this is stupid. I mean, we're grown men for crying out loud. But I don't know…" Kurt looked down and bit his lip. "I just thought you were different. It's hard for me to see people just give up like that."

Kurt finally looked up and Blaine could see the disappointment in his eyes. After a few moments Blaine took a deep breath. "One more try."

The smile that illuminated Kurt's face was one of the most wonderful things he had ever seen.

"When I was younger," Kurt began after they started moving, "I'd pretend I was a bird gliding through the air."

"Yeah…I don't think that's going to help much," Blaine said, trying to keep his concentration on staying steady and keeping up with Kurt.

"Just a suggestion…"

They were silent for a few minutes after that, but Blaine kept noticing Kurt looking over at him. Blaine got into a steady rhythm and was surprised at how easy it was coming to him. Blaine didn't want to admit it, but he was actually starting to have…fun. He was actually starting to have  _a lot_  of fun.

"Now if I didn't know any better I'd think you were lying to me when you said you couldn't skate," Kurt laughed. Kurt's words pulled Blaine out of his thoughts, and he noticed that he and Kurt were actually going faster than most of the skaters in the rink. Blaine looked over at Kurt and met his eyes. He could feel himself blushing and quickly looked away. But before he could respond to Kurt's comment, however, Blaine felt himself starting to lose balance. He hit the ground in a matter of seconds.

Blaine could hear laugher. Was Kurt laughing at him? He looked up and realized it wasn't Kurt's laughter, but his own. Why was he laughing? Blaine hid his face in his hands as Kurt knelt down to his side.

"Blaine? Are you okay? Did you hurt something? Are you…crying?" The concern in Kurt's voice only made Blaine laugh harder.

"I'm perfect," Blaine said in a fit of laughter. "I'm absolutely perfect. I'm ice skating in Central Park with a guy I met an hour ago…and I'm perfect."

Kurt smirked and held out his hand to help Blaine up. "Come on Mr. Perfect let's get you off the ice before someone runs you over."

"Oh no, we're racing," Blaine said as soon as he got back on his feet. He didn't even wait for Kurt to respond before darting towards the other end of the rink.

"Hey! No fair!" Kurt called after him.

"You snooze you lose!" Blaine called back.

From that moment on it seemed like no one else existed except for Kurt, and Blaine tried not to look too hard into what it meant. Instead Blaine tried to concentrate on the fact that he was having the time of his life, and the night was only beginning.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt and Blaine left the ice skating rink a little after eleven when Blaine remembered that Kurt had promised him ice cream and that all of the ice cream places would be closing soon. By the time they left, the running tally of how many times Blaine had fallen while skating came to thirteen. It did spark an interest in Blaine to go start practicing more often, maybe even with Kurt if they agreed to see each other again (which Blaine hoped they would).

After getting ice cream cones at a nearby vender, the boys walked for a while and enjoyed the nighttime air. Soon they found a place to rest on the edge of the Bethesda Fountain, sitting side by side and feeling the cool breeze from the water. The park was beautiful at night and Blaine wished he had come more often.

"I definitely did not see you being the Pistachio kind of guy," Kurt mused as he finished his cone of chocolate ice cream.

"I'm not everything that meets the eye," Blaine explained. "I have many hidden wonders." Blaine almost had to hold back from giggling at himself.

"Do you now?" Kurt mocked playfully.

"Mhm. Plenty." There were a few moments of awkward silence after Blaine started to blush when he realized they were  _flirting_. Blaine hadn't dated many people since he started college, if at all. He went on a few dates here and there, but nothing ever worked out. Kurt felt different, although it was impossible for him to explain why.

"I wonder if it's actually cloudy tonight or it's just the usual mix of light pollution and smog," Kurt pondered. Blaine internally thanked Kurt for breaking the silence.

"Well it's supposed to rain tomorrow so it's probably cloudy…although I wouldn't totally throw away the smog theory."

Kurt's next question came out of nowhere and took Blaine completely off guard. "Why didn't you continue performing?"

Blaine almost choked. "W-what?" He coughed out, totally surprised by Kurt's question.

"Sorry I just…" Kurt looked down at his hands and bit his lip again. "I realized I knew you from somewhere when I first saw you but I couldn't place it. But then while you were skating you started singing to yourself and it came to me…" Kurt looked up right into Blaine's eyes. "You were the lead of the Warblers at Dalton Academy."

Blaine's mouth dropped slightly. "How did you…"

"We competed against each other twice. I went to McKinley."

Blaine wondered how Kurt could possibly remember something like that. Blaine thought back and remembered how they never went to Nationals because the New Directions kept beating them out at Regionals. "You guys were really good," Blaine finally said, not really knowing what he  _should_ say in a situation like this.

Kurt shrugged. "They never let me have a solo, which is probably the reason you can't remember me, but thank you. So you haven't answered my question. Why didn't you continue with music and performing?"

Blaine didn't know what to say. "I liked business better in the end. Singing and performing was just something I did to have fun, you can't make a career out of that."

"Now if that isn't the biggest lie I've ever heard." Blaine was taken off guard with the sudden change in Kurt's tone. It was firm, and Blaine felt like Kurt was going to start yelling at him at any second.

"I'm not lying," Blaine countered, his voice becoming defensive.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "There are three reasons I know you're lying. One: It's obvious you hate NYU, and it's obvious that you could care less about anyone there. Two: You're wearing your class ring you got from the Warblers, and I doubt you ever take it off because it looks like it could use a good polishing. Also when I mentioned the Warblers your eyes lit up brighter than New York on Christmas. And three: Your left eye twitches ever so slightly when you lie."

Blaine looked at him in awe and had to refrain from telling Kurt he was probably one of the strangest yet most interesting people he'd ever met. "My left eye twitches when I lie?" Blaine asked, as a small smile gracing his lips.

"It's hardly noticeable. Everyone has some sort of a tell when they're lying."

"So what's yours?"

Kurt crossed his arms and shook his head. "Not telling." Kurt cleared his throat and continued. "So the vibe I'm getting from this is that it has something to do with your parents?"

Blaine nodded and sighed. He loved his parents, he really did, but sometimes they weren't so understanding of his ambitions. "They would only pay for college in New York if I did something 'practical'. I needed to get away and I had no way to support myself, so I agreed. If I could go back I would probably do things differently, but it's been three years and life goes on."

When Kurt didn't say anything in response Blaine looked over to find that he was concentrating on a couple about fifteen feet away from them. The man looked to be in his late thirties while the woman looked no older than them. "What's wrong?" Blaine asked, wondering what about them caught his attention.

"Oh, sorry. That's really too bad, I think you would have been a wonderful performer. You should have tried for a scholarship or something." Kurt said quickly, pulling himself back into the conversation.

Blaine looked at Kurt curiously. "What do you see?"

Kurt shook his head. "Sorry sometimes I just can't stop my brain from… _observing._  It's annoying I know."

"No really, I want to know," Blaine persisted.

Kurt looked back over at the couple and tilted his head. "He's wearing a wedding ring and she isn't. The way she looks at him…they've been together for a few months now. This is probably the only time they can be together, right after he finishes work. His wife is probably at home waiting for him, although I feel like tonight he'll have some explaining to do, since there's lipstick on his shirt collar."

"Wow. Teach me?"

Kurt lifted an eyebrow. "Teach you to what?"

" _That_. To be able to look at people and just  _know_."

"You just have to look and draw conclusions from what you see. Come on, try that man over there," Kurt said as he pointed to an older man sitting on a bench with his dog. "Tell me about him."

Blaine looked but didn't come up with much immediately. "He's an old guy walking his dog?"

Kurt laughed. "Yes. You have the most impeccable observation skills."

"Shut up," Blaine laughed as he pushed Kurt playfully.

"Is he married?"

Blaine squinted and noticed he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. "No. Okay so he's not married."

"How old does the dog look?"

"Well it's a golden retriever, and they're usually a lot bigger. So maybe it's a puppy?"

"Mhm. Why do you think an old man would have a puppy?"

Blaine looked closely at the man's face, and all he could see was sadness. There wasn't any light in his eyes, and Blaine remembered how when his grandpa died his mom got his grandma a dog so she'd have someone to spend time with.

"Oh no." Blaine could feel his eyes starting to water. "His wife died. And they were probably together a long time and it was probably recent." He didn't know whether or not he was right, but the look in his eyes, it was almost as if a piece of him was missing.

Kurt laid his hand over Blaine's and gave him a sympathetic smile. "They're just random people and random faces, but everyone has a story. Sometimes it doesn't take more than a look."

Blaine nodded slowly in agreement, although he felt as if he could look at Kurt for hours and never completely figure him out.


	4. Chapter 4

"Where are you taking me now?" Blaine asked, trying to raise his voice over the sound of the bustling city. One minute Kurt was talking about his roommate, Rachel (who had brought him to the party and sounded a bit overwhelming to say the least), and the next he was pulling Blaine down the streets of New York City,  _again._

"Somewhere!" Kurt called back giddily.

"Please tell me this isn't another place where I can get bodily injuries." If the first place Kurt took Blaine was ice skating there was no telling where he'd take him next.

"No promises!" Kurt smiled from ear-to-ear as he pulled Blaine for another block. Blaine couldn't help but smile too; Kurt's enthusiasm was contagious.

Blaine wondered if Kurt was this way with everyone he met or maybe…Blaine was special.

"Here we are!" Kurt exclaimed when they stopped in front of a building bursting with music and flashing lights. There were men going in and out, many dressed in thin shirts and jeans so tight it was hard not to stare.

"Did you…just bring me to a gay nightclub?" Blaine asked slowly, trying to keep his voice from changing octaves.

"I mean, if you want to get specific…"

Kurt tried to take Blaine's hand again before Blaine pulled away. "Didn't we just leave a party? Why would I walk straight back into a place that's probably even more crowded-"

Blaine stopped when he realized Kurt was merely inches from him, and Blaine could feel his heart start to race. Were Kurt's eyes always that color? What would happen if Blaine chose to close the space between them and…

"Why do I make you nervous?" Kurt asked, almost too innocently. Something told Blaine Kurt knew exactly why.

Blaine had to wait a few moments to answer so he didn't sound like a stuttering idiot. "Well for starters you're three inches from my face and for all I know you could be a serial killer who chose me as your next victim."

Kurt smirked. "Plausible, but highly unlikely." There was a few seconds of awkward silence before Kurt took Blaine's hand and bit his lip. "I promise you'll have fun. Just a few minutes? If you don't like it I swear we can leave and do something you want to do."

"I guess…"

"Great!" Kurt started pulling Blaine to where people were lining up to get in.

* * *

"I guess this would be the best time to admit that I've never been in one of these clubs before," Blaine said over the loud thumping of the music as they walked through the doors. The air was almost humid and the atmosphere was quite different than anything Blaine had ever encountered.

"I thought so," Kurt replied. "Just try not to get lost and don't go home with any guys who can't show you a valid ID. You don't want to wind up sleeping with a guy who's a freshman in high school."

"I'll try to keep that in mind…"

Blaine stared mindlessly at the men dancing around him. Most of them seemed his age or older, although there were a few he knew were not possibly old enough to legally get into the place.

Once they managed to make their way to the bar Kurt told Blaine he had to go to the restroom and that he'd be right back. "Just order yourself something, I won't be long," he had told him.

Blaine didn't like the feeling of being left by himself in an unfamiliar environment, but did as Kurt told him and ordered a Coke from the bar. "Are you sure that's all you want, sugar?" The bartender asked.

Blaine nodded. "I'm taking it easy tonight."

"Don't be ridiculous," said an unfamiliar voice from beside him. "We'll have two Long Island iced teas, on me."

"No really, I'm fine," Blaine countered. He looked over to find a guy much taller than Blaine standing next to him, an empty drink already in his hand. He was tan with blond hair, and obviously very,  _very_ drunk.

"Dance with me," he nearly slurred. He was half-lidded and barely able to stand on his own two feet. Something about him that made Blaine feel extremely uncomfortable.

Blaine looked around the crowd to see if Kurt was on his way back yet, but he was nowhere in sight. "Umm…no, thank you. I'm expecting someone so I'm just going to stay here," Blaine told him calmly.

"Come on, it's just one dance," he persisted, grabbing Blaine's arm almost  _too_ hard.

"Hey!" Blaine suddenly let go of the breath he had been holding at the sound of Kurt's voice. "I'm pretty sure when someone says no they mean  _no._ " Kurt's voice was harsh and Blaine couldn't see Kurt's eyes but he knew he didn't want to be on the other side of his glare.

"Kurt I can handle it." Blaine didn't want to make anything into a situation.

Kurt looked over at Blaine for a few moments and his eyes softened. Turning back to the guy, who clearly didn't even register what was going on, Kurt continued sharply. "Maybe you should lay off the alcohol next time, guys are much more receptive to people who can actually walk in a straight line." He looked at the guy for a few more seconds before adding, "Maybe you should lay off the tanning bed for a while, too. I would recommend getting that dark spot on your arm checked out, you're never too young for skin cancer." Kurt picked up the drinks that the bartender had just placed on the table. "Thanks for the drinks!"

Kurt motioned for Blaine to follow him and Blaine quickly complied. Blaine was pretty sure neither he nor the guy understood completely what had just happened. They moved to a table and sat down next to each other before Kurt slid Blaine one of the drinks and started sipping on his.

"I can see why you don't go out, you're a creep magnet."

"Hmm, I wonder why," Blaine mumbled.

Kurt paused for a moment to look at Blaine, who was staring down at his lap. "Here." Kurt placed his hands on Blaine's shoulders and turned his body towards him. Blaine looked at him skeptically as Kurt rolled up the sleeves of his cardigan. "You look so uptight, relax," Kurt said soothingly, running his hands up Blaine's arms and shoulders, finally stopping at his neck. He untied Blaine's bow tie and fixed the collar of his shirt, smiling thoughtfully. "There, now you're nightclub material."

"Why are you doing this?" Blaine questioned. "Being so nice to me?"

Kurt's answer caused Blaine's breath to hitch. "Because," he said slowly, leaning in dangerously close, his breath hot on Blaine's cheek. "You make me nervous, too," he whispered into his ear.

Before Blaine could even manage to register Kurt's words he was gone. "Where are you going?" Blaine asked as Kurt got up from the table.

"I'm going to dance. Do you want to come with me?"

Blaine looked out into the crowd of men and shook his head, still bewildered by what just happened. "I'm just going to finish my drink, but I'll meet you out there when I'm done."

"You better," he smirked, although Blaine could tell he was disappointed. But like a switch Kurt's whole demeanor changed, and he practically strutted to the dance floor.

Blaine could feel the heat in his cheeks and his heart was beating faster than the bass of the song that was playing. What was Kurt doing to him? And more importantly: Why?

Once Kurt started dancing Blaine couldn't stop  _staring._ For the first time that night Blaine allowed himself to actually  _look_ at Kurt. His red shirt hugged his lean torso perfectly, and his dark black pants made it hard for Blaine to keep his eyes off his ass. Blaine bit the inside of his cheek, trying to send his rampant thoughts elsewhere, but all he could think about was the way Kurt was losing himself to the music, his body moving in perfect rhythm.

Blaine looked down at his untouched drink. Maybe Kurt was right, he was acting uptight. Blaine deserved to let go and have a little fun, right?

He fixed his eyes back on Kurt and watched as he moved his hips in ways Blaine didn't even think were possible. Two guys started moving closer to Kurt, and soon they were dancing together and rubbing their bodies against him. Kurt must have noticed Blaine's staring, because he kept looking over at him with piercing eyes.

Blaine nervously tried to redirect his attention, finding it easiest to concentrate on the drink in front of him, which he decided to drink after a short deliberation. When he finished, he allowed his eyes to drift back to Kurt, who was finally dancing alone again. Blaine didn't know whether or not to take the opportunity and dance with him, but as soon as Kurt made eye contact with him the whole world felt like it was frozen in place. All Blaine could hear was the steady beat of the music as he made his way to Kurt, their eye contact never faltering.

Kurt grinned when Blaine made it to the dance floor, pulling him in by his belt loops. "I thought you weren't going to come," Kurt admitted.

"And here I thought you knew everything."

"I can still be surprised. I actually really like surprises."

"Well I'll have to keep that in mind," Blaine replied, as Kurt's eyes suddenly broke away and his smile faded.

Before Blaine could ask if something was wrong Kurt took his hands and pulled him to the center of the club. "Dance with me, I know you can."

At first they were dancing a few feet away from each other, slowly getting into the rhythm of the music. As time progressed, they moved gradually closer, until Kurt had his arms on Blaine's shoulders and their bodies were pressed against each other. Blaine's head was spinning, and the air almost felt too thick for his lungs.

Blaine placed his hands on Kurt's waist and Kurt's eyes fluttered closed, his face flushed red from dancing. This was the closest Blaine had been to anyone physically in so long, and he could feel himself wanting,  _needing_ more.

He slowly moved his hands to the small of Kurt's back and then further down, stopping before he indulged his desire to slip his hands into Kurt's back pockets.

Kurt opened his eyes, which were much darker than before, and carefully studied Blaine. Blaine had never seen anyone with pupils so dilated, the blue in his eyes almost disappearing.

Blaine's heart was beating out of his chest. Kurt knew it too, and something told Blaine he felt the same way. At that moment Blaine wanted nothing more than to press their lips together, to feel the electricity with another person that he had been lacking for so long.

Blaine hadn't even realized they had stopped dancing.

Kurt slid his hands around the back of Blaine's neck and brushed his thumb against his jawline. His hands were smooth and warm, and he loved the way they felt against his skin.

"Relax," Kurt whispered, his hands slipping down to Blaine's shoulders.

Blaine felt the tension and nervousness suddenly leave his body just with Kurt's words. Blaine's eyes drifted to Kurt's lips, which were slightly parted and no more than a few inches in front of his.

"Kiss me." The words were so faint that Blaine didn't even know if they were Kurt's words or if he had imagined them. But whatever the case may be, Blaine closed the empty space between them and pressed his lips against Kurt's. As soon as he did everything fell silent, and the only thing Blaine could hear was the sound his own heartbeat beating hard against his chest.

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders, pulling him in closer. His lips were soft and firm and more than he'd ever expected. Blaine was tentative to do anything more, afraid that he'd startle Kurt or go too far.

When they broke for air, Blaine tried to hold back a whine and was surprised to hear one come from  _Kurt_. All of the nervousness he felt was suddenly replaced with arousal. Blaine couldn't get over how unbelievably _gorgeous_ Kurt looked and the sound that just came out of his mouth didn't help Blaine's growing desire.

"Wow," Kurt breathed.

Suddenly a rush of adrenaline surged through Blaine, and he captured Kurt's lips in yet another kiss. Kurt deepened the kiss within seconds and slid his hands down Blaine's arms, which were pulling Kurt in by the small of his back. It was intense and electrifying and Blaine didn't even care that there were people around him because everything felt incredible and so, so right.

"You're amazing," Blaine whispered against Kurt's lips, his voice deep and raspy. Blaine loses himself in the moment, suddenly finding himself peppering kisses down Kurt's jaw. Kurt didn't seem to mind, tilting his head to the side and humming as Blaine pressed his lips to Kurt's neck.

Then everything felt wrong.

Kurt froze in Blaine's arms, and his hands started to shake. His body started swaying and Blaine thought he was going collapse.

Blaine pulled back and tried to search Kurt's eyes, which were looking past him and into the crowd. "Kurt, what's wrong?"

"I-" Kurt looked at Blaine and back to crowd. "I-I'm sorry." Kurt suddenly pulled away, shaking his head and pushing through the crowd, leaving Blaine alone in the middle of the dance floor.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used in this chapter:
> 
> If I Fell by the Beatles (but he’s singing the Across the Universe arrangement) and S&M by Rihanna.

"Kurt! Kurt wait!" Blaine called, following him through the crowd of dancing men. Blaine couldn't even begin to register what just happened, one moment he and Kurt were kissing and the next Kurt was gone. Blaine wondered if he had done something wrong or if Kurt was okay.

Finally he found Kurt leaning against a wall near the back of the club, his eyes shut and his arms wrapped around himself. Once he got close enough he noticed that Kurt's face was paler than normal, and Blaine was worried he was going to be sick.

"Kurt…" Blaine said softly. When Kurt didn't respond he hesitantly touched his arm. "Kurt, are you okay?"

Kurt flinched at Blaine's touch and Blaine took a step back, not wanting to make things worse. Kurt looked up and relaxed once he finally registered who it was. "Hi," he exhaled. His voice wasn't as shaky as when he had left Blaine on the dance floor, but it was still lacking the confidence it had possessed for the past hours.

"Hi," Blaine returned, trying to find Kurt's eyes. "What happened back there?"

Kurt seemed tentative to answer at first, but finally he cleared his throat and allowed himself to speak, this time much more confident. "I just- I thought I saw someone. But I didn't. It just freaked me out and I didn't want to freak  _you_ out so I…" Kurt looked at Blaine and nodded. "I still freaked you out…"

"Only a little bit. But I was more worried than anything."

"Nothing like that has ever happened to me…He just-" Kurt looked down and shook his head. Blaine took Kurt's hand and rubbed his thumb across the back of it, trying to let him know everything was alright.

Blaine didn't want to ask, because obviously if one person could cause this kind of reaction Kurt wouldn't want to talk about it. "You're a really good dancer," Blaine said, changing the subject.

"Hmm…Not as good as you, though," Kurt responded, a shy playfulness coming back to his voice.

"I'm really not a dancer," Blaine stated meekly.

Kurt lightheartedly rolled his eyes and the color filled back into his cheeks. "Even you know you're lying. I mean, what was that move you were doing at the end there? Your hand was two seconds away from being down my pants."

Blaine felt a blush creep so far up his cheeks that he probably looked like a tomato. "I was not…I wouldn't-"

"I'm just kidding!" Kurt laughed, preventing Blaine from becoming a stuttering mess. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure more than a few people enjoyed the show we put on out there."

Every time Kurt smiled Blaine felt warmth surge through his body. Blaine couldn't explain where it came from and couldn't tell if he'd ever felt it before, but he knew that he wanted nothing more than to cause the light in Kurt's eyes for as long as he could, even if that lasted only the night.

So when that smile faded once again Blaine knew he had to do something.

Kurt's eyes drifted past Blaine and suddenly squeezed shut. The hand Blaine was holding started shaking and Kurt's face turned white, as if he were seeing a ghost.

Blaine held Kurt steady and tried to pull them as far away from the crowd as possible. He knew Kurt had spotted the same guy he had seen earlier, and although it wasn't who Kurt originally thought it was, it still caused the same effect. Blaine couldn't even bring himself to turn around and look at the guy. He felt it was better to never know who could have made Kurt feel like this.

"Kurt, it's okay. You're okay," he whispered, their foreheads so close they were almost touching.

Even though Kurt was taller than Blaine, in that moment he seemed so small. Blaine wanted nothing more than to stand there and hold him for as long as he possibly could.

"He just looks so much like him…" Kurt sounded as if he was holding back tears. "I'm sorry I-I understand if you don't want to be around me anymore."

"Shh," Blaine murmured, pulling Kurt into his arms. Kurt rested his hands on Blaine's chest and laid his head on his shoulder. " _Don't worry, be happy_ ," Blaine sang in a whisper.

Blaine could feel Kurt smile against his neck. "You're very different, Blaine Anderson."

"Hmm, and how would that be?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

"Well, while you're figuring that out can you please explain to me how you know my last name?"

Kurt pulled away with a sniffle and smiled. "Maybe after we get out of here. It's your turn to pick our next 'Somewhere.'"

Blaine knew exactly where he wanted to go.

* * *

After taking a cab Blaine arrived with Kurt at a small bar near his school. "We celebrated my friend Wes' birthday here freshman year and it sort of became a tradition," Blaine told him, leading Kurt through the doors of the dimly lit bar.

Kurt lifted an eyebrow until the sound of music and an off tone nearly shrieking noise filled his ears. "A karaoke bar, very interesting."

Blaine tried to keep a straight face as the singer—if they could have been called that—attempted the high note of Katy Perry's  _Roar._ "It's probably one of the only places I actually  _enjoy_. It can get pretty crazy."

"Oh I bet," Kurt chuckled.

"I'm serious, especially since this place is open all night."

"Well I hope we aren't staying  _all_ night because there's still one last place I want to take you."

"If you want to go we don't have to stay here it was just a thought I-" Blaine rambled, heading back toward the door.

"Blaine stop," Kurt said, taking Blaine's hands and pulling him back. "This is an adventure, right? And it wouldn't be an appropriate adventure if we weren't  _both_ having fun."

Kurt led Blaine to a small table near the stage and they sat down. Blaine couldn't help but notice their touching knees. "So who's going first?" Kurt asked.

"First what?"

"Singing, obviously. Isn't that why we're here?"

"I don't usually sing…I-"

"Wait, so you go to a karaoke bar to what, enjoy the scenery? I mean that signed life size poster of Kelly Clarkson in the corner is rather a spectacle."

Blaine crossed his arms. "I like watching my friends sing, there isn't a problem with that. And I'm rusty anyway, you really don't want to hear me sing."

"How about you tell your shower that. It's probably heard you being 'rusty' quite often. I bet it'd tell you that you sound wonderful."

"Yeah well showers don't talk."

Kurt pointed at Blaine's chest. "You're just afraid that if you start performing again in any capacity you'll start missing it too much."

Blaine tried to say something but stumbled over his words. Was that the reason? Was he avoiding performing because he knew once he started he couldn't get away?

"You really do know everything…"

Kurt looked at him in an unwavering seriousness. "That's right, Blaine. Actually I knew your full name because I read minds. I also have magical powers, but I don't usually let people see them until I know them better."

Blaine tried to chuckle but Kurt's expression didn't change. "Wait, you what?"

Kurt's expression suddenly crumbled until laughter poured into the bar. "I'm just kidding. Maybe we shouldn't have let you drink." Kurt put his hand over Blaine's on the table. "But it's okay, I'll take very, very good care of you."

Blaine almost forgot how to breathe.

"So I guess I'll go first. But if I go you have to promise you'll go," Kurt said, getting up from the table.

"I'll think about it." Blaine knew he was lying, and he knew Kurt could tell.

Kurt sat back down and took Blaine's hand, his blue eyes finding Blaine's and making it feel as if Blaine couldn't pull away. Blaine waited for Kurt to say something, and every time he thought words would come there was only silence. And suddenly, without warning, Kurt leaned forward and kissed him gently. Kurt could probably feel Blaine's heart beating and he didn't know whether to be embarrassed or kiss back. Before Blaine could decide Kurt had pulled away, and his eyes were cast down at their hands, which somehow had become intertwined.

"So you promise you'll think about it?" Kurt finally asked.

Blaine nodded slowly and Kurt grinned. He knew exactly what he was doing.

A few minutes later Kurt walked up onto the small stage with a microphone in his hand. The room slowly quieted as Kurt started to speak. "Hey everyone, I'm Kurt. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to introduce myself or not but…I'm not really used to going with strangers to karaoke bars at two in the morning." Kurt found Blaine in the crowd and smiled. "Well he's not really a stranger anymore…" Kurt fixed the microphone stand and pointed at the guy who started the music. "So I wanted to share some Beatles with you all, it's a slow song so try to stay awake, it will be over soon."

As the music began to play Kurt closed his eyes. Blaine watched as his hands fell to his sides and he breathed slowly, taking everything in before finally singing those first few words.

 _If I fell in love with you_  
Would you promise to be true?  
And help me understand  
'Cause I've been in love before  
And I've found that love was more  
Than just holding hands

With every word Kurt sang Blaine felt himself being drawn in. Kurt's voice was more amazing than Blaine had even fathomed. Kurt didn't look at Blaine much, his eyes were either down or out toward the audience, as if he was avoiding Blaine's gaze. Blaine felt almost as if he was intruding on some intimate moment that somehow only belonged to Kurt. Even though he was standing in front of a room full of people he was standing alone, and it was one of the most beautiful moments Blaine had ever seen.

As Kurt finished the song, Blaine found himself walking toward the stage.

 _So I hope you see_  
That I would love to love you  
And that he will cry  
When he learns we are two  
If I fell in love with you

Once the music stopped Kurt looked at Blaine with glossy eyes from tears that refused to fall. The bar applauded as Blaine helped Kurt off the stage.

Kurt rubbed his eyes and chuckled. "Sorry, I get a little emotional when I sing."

"I thought it was wonderful. Your voice…I can't believe your show choir didn't let you have any solos. I swear if you were a Warbler I'd make everyone let you sing."

"I think that's just your way of saying you'd make me sing with  _you_." Kurt's grin was so wide that Blaine couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or if Kurt was just always like this.

Blaine didn't even register that he wasn't responding; only staring into Kurt's sparkling eyes. Were they actually sparkling or was he just imagining that? He was standing in the middle of a bar staring into the eyes of a man he'd met only hours ago like he'd known him his whole life, and he didn't care. Why didn't he care?

Kurt tilted his head ever so slightly and then started shaking his head, which barely pulled Blaine out of his trance-like state. "Blaine, we can't-"

All of a sudden Blaine jumped as his phone started to vibrate. He made a disgruntled face at Kurt, who just nodded and replied, "It's okay, we can talk later," before walking away.

Blaine looked at his phone as he walked out the back door of the bar. It was Wes.

He hadn't told any of his friends he left the party.

"Hey Wes I-"

" _Where are you?_ " Wes asked abruptly, but Blaine could tell he was drinking. " _David and I have texted you like 20 times._ "

"I couldn't stand the party so I left. I'm sorry I got caught up in something and I forgot to text you."

" _So you're okay? After what happened freshman year… I was just really worried."_

"I can assure you I'm just fine." Blaine leaned back against the building. "Actually I don't think I've ever been better."

" _Wait. You're not home?_ "

"Nope." Blaine couldn't stop himself from giggling.

" _Blaine…no…you're not with a guy, are you?"_

"Mhm." Blaine covered his face with one of his hands, which was hot from the blush that was creeping up his cheeks. "I don't know what's wrong with me; I'm not acting like myself. But it's a completely amazing better version of me and I don't want it to go away. And this guy…he's just so…I can't even describe it. He's so unique and I've never met anyone like him before. And I told him about what happened freshman year and I've never told anyone but you guys."

Blaine didn't even hear the door open.

" _David wants to know if you're gonna sleep with him_."

Blaine rolled his eyes. Typical David. "Yeah, tell David I only want his dick. And tell him that I told him about freshman year so he'd feel sorry enough to sleep with me."

Blaine heard the back door shut and peered over to see if anyone was outside before sitting back against the brick wall once again.

"I don't know. That's probably the last thing that's on my mind right now." Blaine laughed at himself, because the first thought on his mind was how Kurt's face was going to look as he sang for him. "Are you guys okay? Are you still at the party?"

" _Yeah, yeah. David is pretty wasted and has basically been all over some girl all night. Turns out she's on Broadway. Go figure._ "

* * *

Once he finally got Wes to hang up Blaine walked back inside and noticed that Kurt was over by the bar, which wasn't overly crowded. Blaine had waited a few extra minutes outside to debate what song he wanted to sing for Kurt. As he tried to get Kurt's attention, Kurt looked over at him for a brief moment before taking a shot and telling something to the bartender.

"Sorry about that," Blaine said when he reached Kurt and sat at the counter next to him. "It was just one of my friends who I went with to the party. Sounds like the party turned out to be really lame. I'm glad we ditched it."

Kurt smiled, although it was more of a smirk than the smiles he'd been seeing previously. "I bet you are."

"My friends are totally wasted. I could hardly understand what they were trying to tell me."

At that moment the bartender set two shots in from of Kurt, which looked to be vodka.

"I don't know, Blaine. Don't you want to be a little loosened up?" Kurt slid the shot over to Blaine and leaned over so his mouth was right next to his ear. "For when we go back to your place…" He murmured into Blaine's ear as he ran his hand up Blaine's thigh.

Blaine could feel the hair on his arms stand up as a shiver ran through his body. "M-My place?"

"I would say my place but my roommate doesn't really like visitors."

"I-I think I'm fine. I already had a lot to drink at the club." Blaine choked out as Kurt sat back.

Kurt let out a boisterous laugh. "You had half of a Long Island ice tea."

"Well that was the first time I've drank in years," Blaine persisted. "And I'm a lightweight anyway," he managed to say under his breath. Blaine had some to drink at the club but that's all he wanted to drink. He didn't want to get drunk and repeat the past. And even though he trusted Kurt, he wasn't ready.

"And I bet you did that just for me didn't you." Blaine was thrown off by Kurt's sarcastic tone and hard expression. And although Kurt was sitting next to him, it felt like he was pushing himself a hundred miles away.

Blaine scooted his barstool closer to Kurt. "Kurt, is everything okay?"

"Why wouldn't everything be okay?" Kurt shrugged and leaned in closer, and suddenly Blaine felt uncomfortable. Something was off. "Come on, Blaine. Let's have some fun."

"I thought we were already having fun. Are you not having a good time? We can leave if you want."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Just take the drink."

"I really don't want it."

"I just want you to have a good time."

"Kurt I don't want it!" He raised his voice in frustration as Kurt picked up the shot glass and waved it near his face.

"Fine I'll just have both!" Kurt took a quick shot and then picked up Blaine's glass, which Blaine stopped him from drinking by grabbing his arm gently.

"I don't want you to do something you're going to regret."

Kurt stared at him with a blank expression until he started nodding, as if something in his brain had clicked. "Right. We don't want it to be too sloppy."

"Kurt I wasn't planning on-"

"Sing with me," Kurt interjected, pulling Blaine from the bar, although this time his grip felt tighter and less careful.

"Well I was actually going to sing something for you…" Blaine replied as Kurt dragged him to the area where people were supposed to sign up. There weren't that many people in the bar so no one was lined up to sing.

"Well I was thinking we should sing together. And I have a great song for us."

"What song is it?" Blaine asked after Kurt was done signing up.

"Oh, you'll know it for sure."

Kurt took Blaine on stage after they were handed their microphones. This time the music started before they could give any introductions, and Blaine immediately felt his whole body immediately turn red.

_Na na na  
Come on_

Kurt's voice was rougher and lower than everything he'd heard earlier. Kurt kept his eyes fixed on Blaine with such intensity that it was becoming hard to look at him. He walked up behind Blaine and practically growled into his ear. "You're supposed to sing."

"I-I" Blaine looked out to the crowd, which for the most part wasn't paying attention, except for a few who looked at them with confusion written all over their faces.

Blaine couldn't move or even think enough to bring the microphone to his lips.

"Kurt I-"

Kurt continued to sing with so much power that Blaine was afraid to do anything. During the chorus Kurt pressed his hand to Blaine's chest, which then proceeded to travel up to his collar bone and then down his arms. "Why don't you want to sing with me?" Kurt pouted, but this time it was into the microphone, which caused people to look up and see what was going on.

At this point Blaine was passed the point of embarrassment, and he felt like at any moment he would pass out right there on stage. "I have to go," Blaine said shakily, walking off the stage as the instrumental continued to fill the room.

Blaine didn't know where to go. He didn't want to leave, but he also knew if he stayed any longer he might do something he'd regret. He walked out the back door and stared into the alley behind the building, frozen as he tried to comprehend what just happened.

He didn't have much time, however, because Kurt soon followed him out the door.

"Why did you leave me?" Kurt asked with a pout.

"I-I just needed some air." The air wasn't too cold, but Blaine couldn't help but shiver.

"Here, let me warm you up," Kurt said, pushing Blaine back against the brick wall, much more forcefully than Blaine had anticipated.

"No- Kurt-" Blaine's protests were suddenly cut short by rough, seemingly desperate kisses. Blaine wasn't sure of himself at first, but finally allowed himself to kiss back and wrap his arms around Kurt's waist.

"I know this isn't as comfortable as you probably wanted," Kurt said between kisses, "but I guess it doesn't really matter where it is you get my  _dick_ as long as you get it." Kurt's last words were forced through gritted teeth as he pushed Blaine harder up against the wall.

"What?"

Kurt gave one more final push before jerking away from Blaine and walking in the opposite direction.

"Jesus, Kurt!" Blaine called after the initial confusion. "Who are you right now?"

"Who am I?" Kurt turned around with an expression of total resentment. "I'm the person who isn't going to fall for your stupid games."

"What games? You're the one playing games. Why did you want to embarrass me so badly back in there?"

"Because you were planning to make me feel like shit so I might as well make you feel like shit too."

"Where is this coming from?" Blaine was on the brink of frustration. "I literally leave for five minutes and you've become a different person."

"Don't pretend you weren't telling your friends about me."

Blaine froze. "How did you…"

"I was coming out to tell you…" Kurt stopped himself before he could answer. "It doesn't even matter what I was going to tell you because this night is finished."

"What did I say because obviously the person you were listening to wasn't me."

Blaine was surprised by how passionate Kurt sounded. "Don't pretend you didn't tell your friend that this whole night was some set-up so you could get into my pants."

And then it clicked, and Blaine smiled.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because it was a joke. All of that was a joke because my friend is dumb and wanted to know too much."

Kurt's exterior seemed to slowly melt away. "Well why were you talking about me?"

"I was telling them about you because this is probably one of the best nights I've had since moving to New York. I was telling them about you because I have never met anyone like you and I think you have the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. But mostly I was telling them about you because I don't know when that last time I was this happy, and I needed to share it with someone."

Kurt stared at him with a mix between disbelief and awe.

"I think I'm just going to go," Blaine said, although it was probably the hardest thing he had to say that night.

"Wait."

Blaine stopped, but didn't turn around.

"I told you I'd tell you how I knew your last name," Kurt told him, his voice barely audible.

Blaine looked back and nodded. "Go ahead."

"I noticed your signature on the receipt for the ice cream you paid for earlier. Blaine Anderson. I remember noticing how the 'o' in 'Anderson' looked a little weird."

Blaine smiled. "Thanks for letting me know I have weird 'o's. I'll work on that."

"Don't. It was the moment I realized how special you are."

Blaine just stared at Kurt, who was biting his lip and taking small steps toward him.

"I'm sorry about all of this. I tend to assume the worst in people because if I don't I'll get hurt. And I couldn't believe that you could have such an underlining faith in people that I decided to believe the first thing that proved my conclusion otherwise."

"And what was your conclusion?"

"That you're different in the best ways possible."

Blaine felt his cheeks turn red and he diverted his eyes away from Kurt, who was standing merely a foot in from of him.

"And I wanted to tell you how I knew your last name before you left because I wanted you to understand I don't read minds and I don't have magical powers. And obviously I don't know everything. I do know, however, that your eye did not twitch when you told me I was the most beautiful singer you've ever heard, which I do find quite charming."

"I would never lie about something like that."

"Do you think…we could start over?" Kurt asked gently. "Maybe sing an actual song together?"

Blaine grinned from ear-to-ear and held out his hand. "I'd love that."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used: Bluebird by the Sara Bareilles

When they went back inside most of the bar-goers had either left or were beginning to leave. It was unusual for the place to have many attendants past two. Blaine felt like this was the perfect setting to finally sing for Kurt.

As Blaine walked up to the stage to give his request to sing Kurt touched his arm tenderly. Blaine wondered if he’d ever stop feeling a spark every time Kurt simply touched him.

“You don’t have to sing if you don’t want to,” Kurt said meekly.

“We had a deal, didn’t we?”

“Yeah but I don’t want you to do this just because I pushed you into it. I think I’ve done enough of that tonight.”

“Our deal was that I would think about it. I thought about it, and I decided to sing,” Blaine told him matter-of-factly.

Kurt grinned. “Okay, good. Oh,” he said, pulling something out of his back pocket. It took Blaine a few moments to register that it was his bow-tie, which Kurt had taken off of him at the club. “If you’re going to go up on stage by yourself,” Kurt mused, pulling Blaine close to tie the fabric around his neck, “you can’t look like you just walked out of a nightclub. It’s probably not the mood you’re looking for.” Kurt straightened out his bow-tie and rested his hands on his shoulders.

“You’re acting like I’m going up there to sing for the President.”

“I just can tell how much this means to you, even if you’re only singing for me. Baby steps.”

 Kurt kissed him gently on the cheek and went to go sit at the table closest to the stage. “Sing like it’s the first time you’ve sang in three years!” He called to him.

“Very funny, Kurt,” Blaine mumbled as he sat down at the piano, which Blaine had been dying to play ever since his friends started going to the bar.

Blaine gave an introduction, even though there were probably five people left besides Kurt. “Hi, I’m Blaine. You probably remember me from about ten minutes ago…when I ran off the stage…” Blaine looked down at Kurt, who mouthed at him  _sorry,_ to which Blaine mouthed back  _it’s okay._ “This song is for Kurt, who is probably the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”

Blaine laid his fingers on the keys and took a deep breath.

He looked at Kurt—whose smile created warmth inside Blaine—and began to play.

As soon as the words starting pouring out of his mouth he wondered how he could have allowed himself to ever stop.

 _Word came through in a letter,_  
One of us changing our minds.  
You won’t need to guess who  
Since I usually do not send letters to me  
That are mine

Kurt was staring at him with complete concentration, and every time Blaine would look up at him Kurt would smile fondly, although as the song progressed the smiled began to seem more forced as Kurt’s eyes became sad, and eventually filled with tears.

 _And so here we go bluebird,_  
Back to the sky on your own.  
Oh, let him go bluebird,  
Ready to fly,  
You and I,  
Here we go.  
Here we go.

Blaine focused on his own words and pushed through the climax of the song as he too became emotional.

 _Oh, let him go bluebird_  
Ready to fly,  
You and I,  
Here we go.  
Here we go.  
Here we go…

“Thank you,” he murmured as the room remained silent after he finished. Kurt was still and his eyes were red, and Blaine was afraid that he had done something wrong.

Blaine walked off the stage and sat next to Kurt, who didn’t even acknowledge his presence. “Was it okay? I know I’m rusty but-”

“I want to take you somewhere,” he said, softly interrupting Blaine, yet he didn’t really mind.

Blaine looked at him with a confused expression. “I know, you said that when we got here.”

Kurt felt one hundred miles away again, but this time like he was lost in his own head. “I just need to take you there…” Blaine could barely hear him, and it was almost as if he was talking to himself.

“I’ll go anywhere you take me,” Blaine finally said, which broke Kurt from his trace-like state.

Kurt looked up at him and lifted an eyebrow. “Anywhere?”

“Well it’d be a little hard to hop a plane to Paris at two in the morning.”

“I don’t even have enough money to pay for a cab home let alone plane tickets.” Kurt took Blaine’s hand, “Come on, we don’t have much time left.”

Kurt pulled Blaine down the streets of New York, except this time much less playfully and with a lot more urgency than before.

“Kurt!” Blaine called, trying to get his attention.

“Yes?”

“You never—I mean you don’t have to—but you never told me what you thought of the song…”

Kurt stopped and turned around abruptly, suddenly throwing his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and kissing him with an intensity and passion he’d never felt before. The warmth of his lips contrasted with the chill of the late city air and Blaine felt like they were the only things he’d ever need to stay warm. He slid his arms down and held Blaine’s neck steady as he deepened the kiss, and only when Blaine needed to breathe did he finally pull away.

“ _That_ is what I thought of the song.”

“Oh,” Blaine breathed. “Well I’m glad you liked it.”

* * *

 

“I’m pretty sure if speed walking was an Olympic sport we’d have broken the record by now,” Blaine said after five minutes of having his arm pulled off.

“I just don’t want it to get too late.”

“It’s already three in the morning and you’re worried about it getting late.”

“Well I was hoping to get home before sunrise. I don’t need my roommate asking questions.”

They slowed down to a normal pace and walked side-by-side. “How long have you known her?” Blaine asked.

“Rachel? Since high school.” Kurt sighed. “A lot of bad memories came out of that place.”

“Yeah. I only started going to Dalton because the bullying got so bad at public school.”

“You’re lucky,” Kurt said under his breath.

“Lucky that I got bullied into private school?”

Kurt shook his head. “Lucky that you got out of there.”

“But I ran. I never stood up for myself.”

“And neither did I, because no one ever told me I had the choice.” Kurt stared intently at the ground in front of him as they walked, and Blaine kept silent.

After what seemed like an eternity of walking they stopped at a fancy high-rise apartment building, which was probably one of the tallest buildings in the city.

“I thought we weren’t allowed to go back to your place tonight…”

Kurt burst out into laughter. “I do  _not_ live here. But I’m glad you think so highly of me.”

“Then why are we here?”

“Because if you’re willing to face one of your fears, I’d like to show you something.”

Kurt pulled Blaine through the lobby, which Blaine felt was too expensive to stand in without dress clothes on. “We’re going to have to take the elevator in the back, this place isn’t really too keen on visitors,” Kurt said as they bypassed a man standing by a large elevator.

“Kurt, are we doing something illegal?”

“No…we just can’t really get caught.”

On their way up the elevator Kurt explained, “My old roommate Santana had a girlfriend who lived here and she would invite us to a bunch of dinner parties all the time. Once, it got so overwhelming…everyone always acting like they were so much better than you…that I just walked out. I didn’t realize the elevator was going up until it let me off and I was on the top floor.”

The doors opened and Kurt took Blaine’s hand. “Then I noticed the stairs, and I kept going up.” He led Blaine through a door and a tiny stairwell that went up about two more stories.

“Is the door locked?” Blaine asked when they reached a door that had a sign that said ‘Do Not Enter.’

“Yeah. But I learned that night that if you’re angry and push just hard enough…” Kurt started jamming his shoulder so hard into the door that Blaine thought he would hurt himself. “It opens.”

The door flew open to reveal the roof of the building, which looked out over the twinkling city with probably the most beautiful view of it Blaine had ever seen.

“Wow,” Blaine whispered in awe.

“I know.” After Blaine didn’t move Kurt nudged his shoulder. “It’s safe, you won’t fall.”

Blaine smiled and took Kurt’s hand, threading their fingers together. “I’m not so sure about that.”

Kurt lifted an eyebrow before leading Blaine to the ledge.

“Wow it’s high,” Blaine said shakily.

Kurt let go of Blaine’s hand and rested his arms on the ledge. “I used to come here almost every night.” His next words weren’t really to Blaine, but more as if he was saying them to himself. “I’ve never shown it to anyone before.”

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

Kurt gazed at Blaine. “I’m glad you were the one to come with me.”

They stared out at the New York City skyline for what seemed like ages. Blaine couldn’t believe that Kurt had this view of the world, when he himself had barely seen it. The lights and colors before him painted a portrait of life that Blaine never grasped within the white walls of his apartment. It was open, inviting, and terribly addictive. He could hardly tear his eyes away when Kurt’s voice filled the air around them.

“This was my escape. I didn’t think I’d actually need one after I left Ohio. I always thought New York would be an escape in itself.”

“Life has a way of following you wherever you go, I guess.” He looked at Kurt, whose features were being lit just perfectly, especially his lips, which were parted slightly. And for those few moments all he could think about was how much he wanted to-

“Do you think it would ruin the moment if I told you just to kiss me already?” Kurt said effortlessly.

Blaine shook his head and leaned forward until his lips met Kurt’s. He lifted his hand and rested it on Kurt’s cheek while Kurt pulled him in by the waist. The universe fell silent around them, and the only thing Blaine could hear was the sound of their staggered breathing. Blaine sucked on Kurt’s bottom lip pressed his hips against Kurt, who let out a quiet whimper.

Kurt stopped them for a moment and chuckled, “I wasn’t expecting that from someone who I’m pretty sure hasn’t kissed more than two people in his life.”

Blaine couldn’t help but laugh. It was strange how easy it was in that moment. He wasn’t nervous or afraid like he’d been at the club or the karaoke bar; he could tell Kurt sensed it, too.

Their next kisses were rough and needy, and his whole body burned with Kurt’s every touch. “Did you feel that?” Kurt asked, although there wasn’t any urgency to his words.

“Feel what?” Blaine held Kurt’s neck and pressed kisses to his jaw.

Kurt hummed and tried to continue, finding Blaine’s lips and murmuring, “The rain.”

And then Blaine felt it. A rain drop fell right onto his cheek. And then another. And another.

Within seconds it was pouring rain.

“Shit,” Blaine muttered, trying to pull Kurt to the door.

“Blaine,” Kurt laughed, his smile wider than ever before. “Slow down!”

They ran inside and shut the door quickly. Kurt slid down the wall, his body shaking with laughter.

“Why are you laughing?” Blaine questioned.

 “Your face…when it started raining.” Blaine could hardly understand what Kurt was saying he was laughing so hard.

Blaine sat down next to Kurt. “I didn’t want to get wet!”

“Is it because of your hair? Because I heard gel and water don’t mix.”

“No…because if we got drenched you’d have to go home,” Blaine mumbled.

Kurt’s laughter stopped, and he stared at Blaine, his eyes apologetic. “I have to go home eventually, Blaine. And besides, who says we can’t walk around New York totally drenched? It’s probably what we’re going to have to do unless we just sit here for the next few hours.”

“So you still want to go somewhere?” Blaine asked, remembering that it was his turn to pick where they were going to go next.

Kurt nodded. “Of course.”

 “Good. Then I really hope you like coffee,” Blaine said as he stood up.

Once Kurt was on his feet he straightened Blaine’s bowtie and smiled at him thoughtfully. “Coffee sounds wonderful.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is short but I will be updating soon so you guys won't have to wait too long to know what happens next! Thanks to the wonderful Lizz for being my beta and dealing with my moodiness tonight :)

On the way down the stairs back to the elevator Blaine stopped suddenly in front of Kurt as he quite vividly remembered what they were doing before the rain started. "What's wrong?" Kurt asked.

Blaine turned around and looked up at Kurt, smiling brightly. "Aren't you supposed to know everything?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "We've been over that."

Blaine took a step up and placed his hand on Kurt's shoulder to keep steady. Without another thought, Blaine tilted his head up and pressed another kiss to Kurt's lips. Blaine refrained from running his fingers through Kurt's damp hair, although every bone in his body wanted to.

"Blaine," Kurt gasped softly when they finally pulled apart.

"Kurt," Blaine whispered, almost mockingly as he smiled. "I just needed to do that again."

"Surprises, surprises," Kurt sighed as Blaine began his way down the stairs again. Except Kurt didn't move. When Blaine reached the bottom step he realized Kurt wasn't following him, and he quickly turned around to make sure he was okay.

It was like a switch, like the sudden pouring rain out on the roof. The way Kurt's face suddenly fell and the smile that gave Blaine so much joy disappeared, and all that was left was sadness. "We can't," Kurt whispered.

The change of tone was so unexpected Blaine almost didn't register what Kurt had said. "Can't what?" He asked, walking slowly back up the steps.

Kurt bit his lip. "It's better if we stop this now, before one of us gets hurt."

Blaine felt like he was being punched in the gut. "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I was being too forward I-"

"Blaine," Kurt said, stopping him before he could finish his apologies. They were face-to-face now, but Kurt looked as if he was doing everything in his power not to look Blaine in the eyes. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have let it go this far." His sad blue eyes finally looked at Blaine. "Nothing can come of tonight, it's for our own good."

Blaine knew exactly what Kurt was trying to say. He'd seen it throughout the night. The way Kurt tried to stay detached, pushed Blaine forward only inch by inch, refrained from any talk of the future as if it didn't exist. Kurt had been trying to tell him; the second they parted ways that would be it, they were just two people who met at a party. Blaine was just naive enough to think it could be any more than that.

"I understand." Blaine nodded, trying to show as little emotion as possible, he wouldn't allow himself to get upset. "If you don't want to get coffee anymore..."

"I still want tonight to last as long as possible," he said tenderly, although it didn't sound all that reassuring. "Just-"

"Just no kissing?"

Kurt nodded solemnly. "I shouldn't have…This wasn't supposed to happen."

"You didn't do anything wrong, and it's better this way," Blaine said, letting go of Kurt's hand, which he hadn't realized he was still holding. Blaine wondered if Kurt could tell he was lying.

* * *

They stood at opposite sides of the elevator as it went down the massive apartment building. Blaine stared down at his shoes, avoiding Kurt's eyes which were fixed on him. Blaine felt as though Kurt could see everything: his wants, his desires - which made this particular moment even more uncomfortable because the only thing he yearned for was Kurt's lips against his, again. The kiss they shared on the roof was one of the most exhilarating sensations he'd ever felt. However, as they stood feet apart, the moment grew more and more bittersweet.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said.

"Sorry for what?"

"The kiss."

"Which one?"

Kurt smirked slightly, until his face dropped and he exhaled. "All of them."

The elevator doors opened and Blaine shook his head. "Don't be, because I'm not."

Blaine moved swiftly out of the elevator, making his way through the lobby of the building. Kurt probably regretted the whole night as he did the kisses. Who would ever want to be with, let alone kiss, someone like boring, dull, lonely Blaine.

"Blaine!" Kurt forced in a hushed tone. "I just want to explain…"

"Do you think we should wait for the rain to die down before heading out?" Blaine asked, acting like he didn't hear what Kurt said. What else did he need to explain? Was there more he wasn't telling him?

Soon they were standing out in front of the building, which was covered for a few feet so they weren't getting wet. "There's a diner not too far from here, I actually know the waitress," Blaine told him.

"Does she have the night shift?"

Blaine interrupted Kurt's question by taking his hand and pulling him out into the rain. "Excuse me!" Kurt laughed.

"Now you know how it feels!" Blaine called back, laughing like nothing had changed. And it shouldn't have changed. They were still only two people who met at a party.

* * *

"Do you have a nonfat mocha?" Kurt asked the waitress, Cynthia, who wasn't too pleased that they walked into her diner drenched at three-thirty in the morning.

"We have regular or decaf," she deadpanned.

"Regular is fine," Kurt replied. "Not exactly the Lima Bean," he murmured under his breath.

Cynthia turned to Blaine. "Blainey!" The middle age woman grinned and smacked on her gum. "What are you doing out this late?"

Blaine blushed with embarrassment and avoided Kurt's reaction, he didn't want to give him more reasons not to be there. "Well there was a party…"

Cynthia looked at Kurt and then back to Blaine. "Oh…" As she poured him a cup of coffee she whispered, "He's cute."

Blaine tried not to look like he wanted to die, although he agreed with her. "Do you want some eggs? Bacon?" She asked.

"No, I'm fine."

"Okay Blainey, well you tell me if you two want anything."

As she walked away Kurt looked like he was going to explode. "Go ahead," Blaine said.

"Blainey?" Kurt laughed. "Can I call you that?"

"Please don't."

"Oh Blainey, it's okay. Also you were lying when you said you didn't want the eggs and bacon," Kurt said simply as he took a sip of coffee.

"It's not like it hurt anyone," Blaine mumbled.

"But to deny yourself one of the greatest pleasures that is eggs and bacon certainly hurts yourself."

"Sometimes we can't have what we want."

Kurt peered at him, halfway through another sip of coffee. "No, I guess not."

They were silent for a few minutes, avoiding each other's eyes as they sipped their coffee. It was becoming more and more difficult to act like nothing had changed. Blaine kept playing the night over and over in his head. Every kind word, every soft touch, every moment their eyes met. Was there something wrong with Blaine? Were all of those words and moments just Kurt feeling sorry for how alone and mundane Blaine was? And once it looked like Blaine might actually have feelings for him it was too far?

The words that came out of Blaine's mouth broke the silence like glass.

"What was all of this, Kurt?"

Kurt lifted an eyebrow. "All of what?"

"Teaching me to skate, having me sing, taking me to your special place, all those times you kissed me? I thought I understood but the more I think about it the more I think I was just some loser you felt sorry for."

"That's not- Why would you-" Kurt stumbled over his words.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Blaine said as he threw a few bucks on the table. "Thanks for the night, I'm sorry you had to go through it."

Kurt looked almost horrified. "It's not what you think! Just let me explain!"

Blaine ignored Kurt's pleas and quickly made his way through the diner.

"Blainey is everything okay?" The waitress asked as Blaine made his way through the diner.

"Say hello to your husband for me," Blaine mumbled as he walked out the door and into the pouring rain with a burning chest. He could feel tears welling in his eyes, but he refused to cry, especially over something as unimportant as a guy he'd only met a few hours before.

But he wasn't unimportant, he was the reason he could sing again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but this chapter is extra long! Thanks to the wonderful Lizz for being my beta! Also Megan for actually helping me with this chapter. Thank you all for reading and there's only a few chapters left!

Every drop of rain felt heavy against his skin. He was angry at himself for not wearing a heavier jacket, although he hadn't planned to be out this late. He hadn't really planned for any of this; to ice skate, to sing again, to laugh the hardest he had in months. And that was all because of Kurt.

He didn't even make it around the block before he heard Kurt's voice.

"Blaine!" Kurt called after him. "It's not what you think!"

Blaine wrapped his arms around himself and tried to ignore Kurt's words, keeping his eyes down at the wet sidewalk, his apartment only a few blocks away. "Just go home, Kurt."

"That would be an option if I had any money left for a cab," he raised his voice over the sound of the rain. "It will probably take me over an hour to walk home. And the rain…" Kurt sighed and began to turn around. "I'll just wait in the diner until the rain stops."

Blaine didn't want Kurt to be in the diner all night or to have to walk home by himself. "Here." Blaine stopped and took his wallet out of his pocket.

"Blaine, don't."

Blaine shook his head and forced himself not to make eye-contact. When Kurt caught up to him Blaine coerced the money into his hand. "It's the least I can do after what you had to go through tonight."

"Stop saying that!" Blaine was startled by the animosity in Kurt's words and stepped back.

Finally looking up at Kurt, he saw something different in his eyes. Not the happiness he'd seen throughout the evening, or even the sadness he saw only a few minutes before, but emptiness. "I didn't do all of this because I felt sorry for you," he whispered defeatedly.

"Then why did you? Why did you do all of this?"

"I was selfish, okay? I could-" Kurt bit his lip. "I could see what a wonderful person you were the moment I looked at you. And it wasn't from the way your bowtie was perfectly tied or how scared you were that I was going to jump." He looked down and his lips turned up into a smile. "It was your eyes." And within a beat the smile had disappeared. "They aren't broken yet."

The rain sounded heavier than ever before. "I don't understand."

"You have so much bottled up inside. So many great things that you should show everyone but that you feel are unimportant. I wanted you to feel important, because you are. And it's not because I feel sorry for you. It's because you still have the capacity to let people make you feel that way, and I envy that."

"Have you met people who don't?"

"I guess you could put it that way," Kurt said, avoiding Blaine's eyes. "When you sang that song, I had never seen someone so happy. I just couldn't stop. But the way you looked at me in the stairwell..." Kurt shook his head. "I knew it had gone too far."

Blaine's cheeks turned red. "I wish I could see everything about you too. At least we'd be on the same playing field."

"No you don't."

The rain began coming down harder and Blaine shivered. "You really should be getting home," Kurt said, brushing his fingers over the back of Blaine's hand fondly. "You're freezing."

Blaine watched Kurt's hand drop back to his side, missing his touch. Blaine believed everything Kurt had said, he just didn't understand why they couldn't be  _more._  "But why exactly is this selfish?" Blaine asked, eyeing their hands.

"Because it has to end tonight."

Blaine's eyes made their way to Kurt's lips, which were shining from the rain. "Why does it have to end tonight?"

Kurt was hesitant with his answer. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Why are you so sure that you'll hurt me?"

Kurt bit his lip. "Because I-I'm not-" he stumbled over his words. "I can't concentrate with you looking at me like that." The only thing Blaine could focus on was the fact Kurt's eyes were now gazing down at his lips, pupils dark and blasted.

Blaine  _wanted_ Kurt. And there was no way to fake the way Kurt was looking at him, with so much  _want_ in his eyes. And Blaine couldn't help but revel in how incredible it was to feel wanted.

"If you want this to be over tomorrow then we should at least let ourselves be selfish tonight," Blaine whispered. "One night won't do any damage. It doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to." Blaine moved closer to Kurt until their bodies were barely touching. Blaine didn't even care that they were standing in the pouring rain in the middle of New York City at three in the morning. Blaine was running out of time, and he couldn't be nervous anymore. "Kiss me."

Blaine was caught off guard by Kurt's lack of hesitation. He held Blaine's face in his hands and found his wet lips, kissing him like the night would be over at any moment. Heat surged through Blaine's body, making the cold, wet air around him feel like a sauna, relaxing and invigorating all at once. Time felt so slow that each raindrop was unique against his skin, and the clock that had been ticking in the back of Blaine's mind finally stopped. Because no matter how long the night lasted or what happened from then on, nothing could compare to the feeling of someone actually  _wanting_ him.

"Come home with me," Blaine murmured as Kurt reluctantly pulled away. Blaine had never been this forward with anyone in his life, and something about Kurt's shy smile brought him back to reality. "I mean- my place isn't too far away and we can get you out of these wet clothes...Not like that. I mean- If you want to. Wait." Kurt laughed as Blaine tried to make a coherent sentence. "I'm not used to this."

Kurt brushed his thumb against Blaine's jaw. "I know."

"Thanks," Blaine muttered.

Kurt kissed him lightly and Blaine smiled against his lips. "It's okay," Kurt whispered as they pulled apart.

And for a moment Blaine forgot that their kiss sealed the promise that everything would end by the morning.

* * *

"From what you told me I expected something a lot smaller," Kurt said as Blaine let them into his apartment. "This place is really nice."

"Thanks." Blaine hated his apartment. He didn't care what anyone said, he dreaded having to spend every single day in there. It wasn't small, but it wasn't nearly open enough, and it definitely wasn't big enough for a piano, which was one of the reasons he stopped trying to write music. He would move out if he could, but the problem was he didn't have enough of his own money to afford anything in the same area or even close to sanitary.

"Are you sure this is okay? For all you know I could be a serial killer who chose you to be my next victim."

"Plausible, but highly unlikely." They shared a smile. "I would feel awful if you had to walk home alone in the rain. Especially this late."

"Someday your selflessness will get you in trouble, Blaine Anderson. And I'm sure that's the only reason you brought me home with you." Blaine tried to hide his sudden self-consciousness as Kurt took off his jacket. "We're going to get water everywhere."

"It's not a big deal." The apartment deserved it anyway.

Blaine stood next to the door and watched as Kurt walked around his apartment, studying the walls as if he needed to memorize every inch. "Why aren't there any pictures out?" Kurt asked.

"I don't really…" Blaine hesitated, unsure exactly why he never got around to putting out any pictures.

"...like looking at what you're missing," Kurt completed his sentence.

"Maybe."

"Do you hate this place because it's the only one your parents approved of or because it isn't big enough for your amusement?"

"My parents wanted something practical."

"To fit your practical school and your practical career path?" Kurt walked into the kitchen area and gasped overdramatically. "Look at that. A practical little stove and oven. And a fancy practical coffee maker with all the different types of coffee. That must have been a gift from your parents. Did you force yourself to start liking the coffee at the diner because you wanted to see Cynthia?"

"Why do you even ask if you already know the answer? Every question you ask me I feel like there's a right and wrong answer because you seem to know me better than I know myself."

"Because I've learned over the years that I offend people really easily. It's actually a really funny story as to why I can do this. You know,  _observe_." Kurt waited for Blaine to give him a confirmation to go on, so Blaine nodded slowly. "Well back in highschool I was bullied a lot because people didn't like who I was. I told myself that I wasn't going to let them get the best of me, that I was stronger than them. But after awhile I stopped fighting back. And that's when I started watching everyone. To pass the time, I created stories about them based on the little things they did, because speaking would mean my head in the toilet."

"How did you know they were true?"

"Once when a jock pushed me in a locker I told him that I was sorry that his parents didn't love him and that he should probably find friends other than his dog. I knew I was right because I got a bloody nose out of it."

"I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that stuff."

"I know you've gone through your fair share."

Blaine didn't even bother mentioning Sadie Hawkins. Kurt didn't know any of the details of course, but something about Kurt's expression just  _knew._

There was an awkward silence as they stood across from each other in the dark apartment. Kurt was absolutely drenched from the rain. So much so that his clothes were clinging to him in a way that left nothing to the imagination. Blaine didn't know quite how to say  _I'd much rather see you naked right now_ so he remained silent.

"Is there anywhere I can change and hang my clothes to dry? I'm pretty sure I'm turning into a prune and I don't want my clothes to be totally ruined."

Kurt snapped Blaine out of his thoughts. "Oh. Yeah. The bathroom is through the bedroom. Just hang them up on the shower rod."

Kurt walked up to Blaine where he was standing next to the door and kissed Blaine softly. "I'll only be a few minutes," he whispered before walking the opposite direction into the bedroom.

While Kurt was in the bathroom Blaine found a t-shirt and pants he could change into.

Blaine walked over to the bathroom door, which was standing wide open. There was Kurt.  _All of Kurt._ He was turned around and hanging his clothes over the shower, totally and completely  _naked._

Blaine couldn't look away. Kurt's skin looked almost luminescent in the light from the city that came in through the window. Kurt's shoulders were broad and toned, while his his waist was lean and slender, and as Blaine's eyes traveled down his pants became increasingly tighter.

Heat rushed through Blaine when he realized how long he'd been staring. He fumbled with the clothes in his hands and turned away, trying to regain composure. He cleared his throat to get Kurt's attention. "I- Um- Brought you some clothes. And I can make up the sofa for you if you-"

"I wasn't really planning to sleep on the sofa tonight, and I don't think you were really planning on that either." Kurt was merely inches away from him. Since when was he standing there? "Blaine," his voice was soft and reassuring. "You make me nervous too, remember? I'm just much better at hiding it."

Kurt was  _naked_ and so close to him that Blaine could feel the heat radiating off of his body. Kurt glanced down and most likely noticed Blaine's all too evident erection. "I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to," Kurt said, their bodies almost touching. "So you're going to have to tell me what you want."

Blaine tried to find the confidence he had outside the diner. "Can't you already see what I want?"

Their eyes met, and something about the way Kurt looked at him made him feel safer than he ever had before, even though he was about to put himself in the most vulnerable position possible. "I want you to have control this time."

Everything about the moment suddenly felt heavier than before. The first time, and the only time, someone had seen him bare and vulnerable as Kurt was standing before him Blaine didn't even know what was happening, and Blaine knew if he could he would have said no. Blaine lived every day trying to keep himself from reliving that night, and Kurt understood that. This time was going to be different, this was going to be the first time Blaine really should have had.

"Well I guess we should start with the fact I feel completely overdressed," Blaine blurted out.

Kurt smiled, nodded, and started working at Blaine's bowtie. "I regret tying this on so tight," he said as he fumbled to remove it.

Blaine laughed nervously and quickly forced himself to stop. The monumental realization hit him that Kurt, the Kurt he had only met a few hours ago, was  _taking off his clothes_ , and wanted them off  _faster_.

Kurt finally finished his bowtie with an exasperated huff and moved on to the buttons of Blaine's cardigan, kissing him as he pulled it off. Blaine closed his eyes and ran his hand through Kurt's wet hair as they kissed, something he had been wanting to do the whole night. "How many layers do you have on?" Kurt laughed breathlessly between kisses as he began pulling Blaine's undershirt off.

Blaine readily lifted his arms and allowed Kurt to finish taking of his shirt. Blaine could feel his whole body begin to flush as Kurt looked at him with an expression Blaine couldn't quite read. Did he like what he saw? Was he disappointed? Should Blaine have just stayed home that night and forgone any embarrassment that was bound to occur in the next few seconds?

Kurt bit his lip and began running his hands down Blaine's shoulders and arms, gripping his biceps as he pushed him back against the wall of his bedroom and crashed their lips together.

Well that answered those questions.

The heat from their bodies felt like a fever that only more contact could cure. "I want more," Blaine breathed anxiously, unsure exactly what to say.

Kurt replied by brushing his lips against Blaine's neck. "Like this?"

"Yeah," Blaine let out with a shaky breath.

Kurt trailed his lips down Blaine's neck and collarbone, sending what felt like electricity down Blaine's spine. Blaine let out a surprised gasp when he felt the heat of Kurt's tongue against his skin. "You like that?" Kurt whispered against his neck.

Blaine  _really_ liked it, and Blaine honestly wouldn't mind if that was all they did for the rest of the night, but Blaine was straining painfully hard against the fabric of his jeans. "Kurt, please," he cried softly, rocking his hips forward for some sort of relief, desire taking over all of his senses.

Kurt immediately began unbuckling Blaine's belt, his lips never losing contact with Blaine's skin. Kurt kissed eagerly down Blaine's chest and abdomen until he was on his knees, stripping off every article of clothing Blaine had left on his body. "Is this okay?" He asked as he peppered delicate kisses down Blaine's newly exposed thigh.

"Yeah," Blaine answered shakily. He was fully exposed and Kurt knew what that meant to him. Blaine didn't need to be nervous, he wanted Kurt.

"Kurt," Blaine whined as desire and the lack of relief began to overtake him.

"Hmm?" Kurt looked up and Blaine almost moaned at the image of someone on their knees in front of him. "What do you want me to do, Blaine?"

"Your mouth- I really want-"

Blaine's head fell back against the wall with a thud as Kurt licked a slow, wet stripe up Blaine's cock. "Like that?" He asked, almost innocently.

"Yeah. Please, Kurt."

Kurt repeated the action before taking Blaine into his mouth, which produced an embarrassingly loud moan from Blaine as a rush of heat ran through his body. Blaine didn't really know how great of an idea it was to be standing, because his legs began trembling at how incredibly  _amazing_ Kurt's mouth felt around him. Kurt seemed to notice, gripping his hips to keep him steady. Blaine pressed his palms against the wall, not completely sure where he should put his hands.

When Kurt moaned Blaine looked down and noticed that Kurt's hand was stroking himself slowly, which was probably the hottest sight he'd ever seen. "Oh god- Kurt-" Blaine dug his nails into the wall as the intensity started to build and Kurt tightened his grip on his hips. "I'm so close.  _Oh god_ -"

Blaine's words only made Kurt's mouth move faster. It wasn't much longer until Blaine was coming into Kurt's mouth, moaning so loud he was afraid his neighbors could hear him.

"That was amazing," Blaine blurted out after they were again face-to-face.

Kurt huffed out a small laugh. "Ever charming…" Blaine could still feel Kurt hard against his thigh. "But," Kurt whispered, leaning in next to Blaine's ear, "Tonight isn't over yet."

They were on Blaine's bed within a matter of moments, Kurt on top of him as they kissed with urgency, like the night was chasing every action in a race only it could win. Everything was hotter, faster,  _more_ than anything Blaine had ever experienced, from the salty taste of Kurt's neck to the feeling of Kurt's body moving against his.

Kurt's hands were gentle despite the urgency, roaming aimlessly across Blaine's abdomen and chest. Blaine's hands slid from Kurt's back to his ass in one swift motion, pulling him down harder on top of him and against his newly hardening erection. "Jesus, Blaine," Kurt murmured against his lips.

"Sorry." Blaine moved his hands to the small of Kurt's back.

"No, I liked it," Kurt said hotly against his ear. "I like your hands on me." His voice was low and thick between kisses. "I've been imagining how they'd feel all night."

Blaine didn't know what came over him, but suddenly he was reaching for Kurt's cock between them, stroking firmly and taking in Kurt's immediate reaction.

" _Fuck_ ," Kurt gasped. Blaine had no idea how turned on he would be by Kurt swearing.

"Right drawer." Yeah. Lube and condoms. That would be the logical next step.

"It's like you read my mind." Kurt reached over to the nightstand and Blaine relaxed, gazing at Kurt as he returned to sit on his knees in front of him. Kurt looked up and lifted his eyebrow, "What?"

"I'm not used to reading your mind."

"Well I hope it's not difficult given our current situation."

"Do you want- I mean- Can you-"

Kurt settled himself between Blaine's legs and mouthed at his neck. "What do you want, Blaine?"

"Fingers. I want you inside me, Kurt. Please." Blaine didn't even have time to be embarrassed by how needy he must have sounded, because Kurt was already lathering his fingers with lube.

Blaine's heart rate steadily increased and he could feel his cheeks turning red as Kurt rubbed his fingers together. "Are you ready?" Kurt asked.

Blaine took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah."

Their mouths moved together as Kurt began adding fingers, slowly, working to make sure Blaine was fully stretched before adding another. Blaine had trouble keeping up with Kurt's kisses, moaning and panting into Kurt's mouth, but Kurt wouldn't allow for any loss of contact. Blaine knew Kurt was trying to be gentle, but Blaine was becoming restless, rocking down into Kurt's fingers with labored breaths.

"I'm ready," Blaine whined. "Please. I want more."

"You're so hot, Blaine. I wish you had someone to tell you that every day. God, please know that."

Blaine whined at the loss of Kurt's fingers and dug his own fingers into Kurt's back, preparing for the feeling of Kurt inside him.

Kurt was about to push in when Blaine put his hand on his shoulder, "Wait."

Kurt searched his eyes. "Is everything okay?" He panted.

Everything was starting to remind him of that night, it was all starting to pan out the same. Kurt was going to fuck him and leave, just like before. "I-" Blaine struggled to find what he wanted. He didn't want Kurt to stop, because it wasn't the same, was it? Kurt cared, he actually gave him the preparation and control he needed. And as it had been before, control would be the ultimate difference. "Can I? I mean- Nevermind."

Kurt bit his lip, and within moments Kurt was on his back and Blaine was on top of him, staring down into Kurt's incredibly blue, and incredibly wanting, eyes. The eyes that always knew.

"Thank you," Blaine whispered and leaned down to kiss Kurt's chest and neck, before finally kissing him softly on the lips. It took everything in his power not to tell Kurt he was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

He settled right on top of Kurt and slowly relaxed himself around Kurt's cock. "Fuck," Kurt cursed again, his head falling back on the pillow.

Blaine began moving, slowly at first, but as Kurt's moans increased in volume so did Blaine's desire to be the reason for them. Kurt dug his fingers into Blaine's thighs and rocked his hips up with Blaine's rhythm. "Kurt," Blaine cried out as an amazing rush of pleasure washed over him. "I'm so glad I went to that party," he panted.

And it was true, even if the night hadn't ended this way. Blaine wondered if they had met under different circumstances, maybe they're adventure could have lasted longer than just one night. But it didn't matter, tonight was enough, because he would never give up his once in a lifetime chance to meet someone as amazing as Kurt for anything.

Kurt wrapped his hand around Blaine's cock and it didn't take more than a few strokes for him to start coming across Kurt's sweat-drenched chest, with Kurt following his lead not too long after, babbling what only could have been interpreted as obscenities mixed with Blaine's name. And god, did Blaine want to make Kurt say his name like that again.

But it was over, and if Kurt's glossy, orgasm hazed eyes told him anything, it was that every single moment that they shared together that night was worth it.

* * *

Later Kurt and Blaine found themselves lying on their their sides under the covers. Kurt had his eyes closed, but Blaine couldn't even think about sleeping. He moved a piece of hair off of Kurt's forehead and smiled contently. Kurt opened his eyes and Blaine quickly pretended he was asleep.

"I know you aren't asleep," Kurt whispered. "You're breathing too fast."

Blaine opened his eyes. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"I wasn't asleep. I'm not even tired," Kurt yawned.

Blaine sat up. "Well the night is still young, we could-"

Kurt laughed and pulled Blaine back down. "Okay I'm tired."

Blaine smiled. "It's been a long night."

"So it has," Kurt said as he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry about what happened at the club."

"Kurt...you don't have to apologize." Blaine figured Kurt was just overly tired, his words were starting to run together.

"I ruined the night."

"No you didn't," Blaine reassured him and placed his hand on Kurt's cheek. "Tonight was amazing. You're amazing."

"He just looked so much like him, Blaine."

Blaine swore to himself that he wouldn't ask, and he immediately regretted his next words. "Who did you think you saw?"

Kurt's eyes squeezed shut harder and Blaine pulled his hand away. "I'm sorry for asking, please don't feel like you have to tell me."

Soon Blaine was looking into a pair of sad, blue eyes. "He was the reason I went to the roof every night." Kurt rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "He was my boyfriend for two years, ten months, and eleven days."

_Oh._

"He was my first boyfriend and we met the week I moved to New York. He was the first guy to tell me I was special...to tell me I was worth something. I fell in love with him so fast I'm surprised I didn't break anything."

Blaine remembered Kurt's face. That wasn't the face you were supposed to have when you saw someone you love.

"He hated when I'd tell him things I noticed about him, though. I didn't think anything of it because most people do. And when I figured out how to tell when he was lying…" Kurt yawned. "I should have known."

"Kurt, you don't-"

"Shh," Kurt murmured sleepily. "I want to tell you. You trusted me with your past, now I'm going to trust you with mine." Blaine remained silent as Kurt continued. "The first time I caught him lying was right after I moved into his place. It was something so stupid, but we ended up arguing about it for hours. I couldn't figure out why it made him so angry." Kurt's eyes looked so far away that it made Blaine wonder where exactly Kurt was. "He started lying about where he was going and I pretended not to notice because I knew how much it upset him."

Kurt explained that his boyfriend had a temper and it was common for him to break things when he got angry, or worse. Kurt said he knew about it all along, even from the moment they met he could tell something was off, but Kurt could overlook it because he didn't think he'd ever find anyone else who wanted him in that way. His friends started noticing things like how he never left the apartment except to go to class and how they couldn't hang out unless his boyfriend was present. When they confronted him about it Kurt wouldn't listen, and ended up dropping communications with them altogether.

It didn't become physical until Kurt started going out by himself, mostly to the roof. His boyfriend would ask where he'd been and Kurt would tell him, but he would go off about Kurt seeing other guys. He didn't go into many details, the pain of the memories evident on his features.

They broke up the day after Christmas, when Kurt asked him if he loved him enough to never hurt him again. He said his answer was the biggest lie he'd ever been told. That's when he knew he had to leave.

Blaine watched as Kurt cried. Blaine felt helpless and he hated that he couldn't take the pain away. He couldn't believe anyone could do something like that to Kurt

Kurt sniffled and wiped the remnants of tears from his cheeks. "It's silly, really, the way I reacted at the club."

"It's not silly," Blaine whispered as he moved in to softly press his lips to Kurt's. Kurt rolled back onto his side and Blaine pulled back to look at him. "I know I haven't known you very long and probably don't have the right to any sort of judgement but…" Blaine wiped a tear from Kurt's cheek. "I think you deserve someone who will make you feel important every day, who will make you feel special, and who wants nothing more than to cause the light in your eyes for as long as they possibly can."

"Blaine…" Kurt said as he rubbed Blaine's arm. "We probably shouldn't have let you drink tonight."

"I'm serious."

Kurt leaned in for a kiss, which lingered for a few moments, like Kurt didn't want it to end. "I know," he sighed softly, brushing his nose against Blaine's.

There were a few moments of pure silence where Blaine wondered if Kurt was thinking about him. "Just promise me one thing, before we fall asleep," Kurt said, looking as if he was trying everything he possibly could to stay awake.

"Okay."

"Promise me you'll start singing again."

Blaine nodded slowly. "I promise."

"And just...be careful, bluebird," Kurt said as he closed his eyes.

Blaine didn't want to move and he didn't want to sleep. He didn't want the night to ever be over. "Maybe if you don't have anywhere you need to be tomorrow I could make you breakfast or something?" He asked after a few minutes. When Kurt didn't respond he decided it would be better just to ask in the morning. "Goodnight, Kurt. I'm really glad you went to that party," Blaine whispered before finally drifting off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well....it's been two and a half years. Around the time I stopped writing this story I was going through a really difficult time in my life, and I just couldn't get myself to continue this story. But tonight I decided to go back and read what I had on this story, and it turns out I had finished the next chapter. Then I read it and was like damn, I want to know what happens next. So I thought hmm...maybe if I update it'll give me the confidence and motivation to end this story, since I only have about three more chapters planned. 
> 
> Just as a heads up: Kurt isn't in this chapter, so if you'd like to wait and see if I update the rest, that's totally fine. If not, I think this is a good place to start.

Blaine groaned at the bright light coming in through his window, interrupting his much needed sleep. The sun. Who invented the sun? And why did this inventor have a personal vendetta against Blaine? 

Blaine willed the sun to turn off and allow him more sleep but, alas, the sun was still as bright as before, if not brighter.

If that wasn’t enough, Blaine’s phone rang incredibly loudly next to his ear. Blaine wondered why someone could possibly want him this early. “Go away,” Blaine said into his pillow before pulling it over his head. Blaine smiled when the ringing finally stopped, only to be startled by a second set of ringing. “Fine! I’m up!” He yelled into his empty room.

“What do you want?” Blaine answered groggily.

“Blaine, it’s almost two in the afternoon,” he heard Wes say across the line.

“What?” Blaine leaned over and looked at the clock on his nightstand. Wes wasn’t lying.

“What happened last night? Where are you?”

“I’m in my apartment. Where else would I be?”

“Well, I thought you might have gone home with that guy.”

Oh god.

Kurt.

Suddenly every memory of the night before hit Blaine like a freight train. Blaine frantically looked around his room, until he realized the inevitable had happened. Kurt was gone. Every remnant of Kurt was gone, even down to his side of the bed, which was neatly made back into place. Kurt’s clothes were gone from the bathroom and replaced with Blaine’s clothes from the night before. By the looks of his apartment, everything could have been a dream.

Blaine felt empty, as if there was now a void that he didn’t even realize was empty until it had been filled. What surprised Blaine was that it didn’t hurt.

“Blaine?” Wes seemed concerned at Blaine’s silence.

Blaine felt unable to form words, like the part of his brain that controlled speech was disconnected. Everything felt disconnected. Kurt was gone, and he didn’t even say goodbye. Blaine didn’t know if that would have made it any easier, but maybe he wouldn’t have woken up feeling like the wind had been knocked out of him. 

“Blaine,” Wes repeated. “Please talk to me.”

Blaine looked around his room one last time, searching for something, anything, that would indicate that Kurt had been there, but he found nothing. Maybe it was a dream after all. 

But even in dreams, Blaine thought, he deserved a goodbye. 

Feeling numb and defeated, Blaine sat down on the edge of his bed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m fine,” he finally said, trying to make his voice sound merrier. “Last night was great.”

“I bet,” Wes laughed.

Blaine’s cheeks turned red as he began to remember  _ that  _ part of the night. Kurt’s soft skin, his lips against Blaine’s neck, their bodies wrapped around each other and the way Kurt looked as he fell asleep.

“So, David and I are going to be down by the diner for lunch,” Wes began, pulling Blaine out of his thoughts, “and we were wondering if maybe you would like to join us.”

Blaine nodded solemnly. “Sounds great.”

* * *

To Blaine’s chagrin they were sat at the table he and Kurt had sat at the night before. Kathleen, a younger waitress who was never as attentive or nice as Cynthia took their coffee orders and moved on, the diner buzzing with life on the beautiful Saturday afternoon. Blaine could hardly tell that it had been raining only hours before.

“So how was the party?” Blaine asked when they were finally settled.

“It was...a party,” Wes replied hesitantly. “Well, I was having a pretty good time until David was puking everywhere.”

David hit him on the shoulder. “We weren’t going to tell him that part.”

Blaine laughed and Wes continued, “Okay, enough about us. We want to hear what the hell happened last night. Who is this ‘Mr. Indescribable.’”

Blaine’s face dropped. He knew the conversation would come up, but not this quickly. “He was just a guy I met at the party,” he shrugged. If Kurt were there he’d point out that he was lying.

Kathleen came by just in time with their coffee and took their orders. “And for you?” She asked Blaine after Wes and David were done ordering.

“Eggs sunny-side up and bacon, please,” Blaine smiled, handing back his menu. “Wouldn’t want to deny myself one of the greatest pleasures that is eggs and bacon.” There was a bitterness to his voice.

Wes and David stared at Blaine as Kathleen left with their orders. “What?” Blaine asked, sipping his coffee.

“Is everything okay?” Wes asked, his tone becoming very serious. “Did he…”

Blaine instantly knew what he was talking about. “No,  _ no, _ I just-” Blaine exhaled. 

“On the phone you just sounded so...happy.”

“I was,” Blaine sighed. “I  _ am _ .”

“Yeah, especially if his hickey has anything to say about it,” David chuckled.

“Shit.” Blaine instinctively covered his neck with his hands.  _ Kurt. _

“I guess you don’t have to tell us-”

“He left while I was sleeping, okay?” Blaine cut Wes off; there was no sense avoiding reality.

“Wow. What a douche,” David said.

“But he’s not,” Blaine tried to explain as he remembered Kurt sitting directly in front of him in the exact same booth, his laugh, his smile, and he even remembered his coffee order. “He’s amazing,” he said as a smile formed on his lips.

“Well, did he at least give you his number?” Wes asked.

His smiled faded as he should his head. “It’s complicated.” Blaine had to remind himself that it was actually quite simple, they were just two people who met at a party.

Wes and David shared a look before Wes continued, “You at least know his name, right?”

“Yeah.” Well, Kurt never did tell him his last name, but it didn’t matter at this point, did it? 

After they received their food Blaine stared out the window at the bustling city and wondered what else he had been missing all of these years. Maybe Kurt was a dream. Maybe he was his subconscious telling him that things needed to change, things needed to get better, and they could get better.

“Blaine?” David asked. Blaine looked at them and for a few moments, trying to remember where he was. “You haven’t eaten anything.”

Blaine looked down at his plate, which hadn’t been touched, and then to Wes and David’s, which were almost empty.

“Sorry,” he said quietly before returning his focus back to the city. “I was just thinking about starting ice skating lessons.”

Maybe emptiness was more painful than a broken heart.

* * *

After returning home from the diner, Blaine immediately began looking for a new apartment. It was like something had been triggered: the motivation to start over.

“And you want to move because…?” David asked over the phone the next day.

“Because my apartment is a piece of shit,” Blaine said as he examined the coffee maker on his kitchen counter, he’d never even tried turning it on.

“Hey I’d gladly take that apartment off your hands. If you parents still pay the rent, of course.”

“Do you need a coffee maker?” He asked, barely listening to what David was saying.

“Well if you’re offering…”

“It’s a nice coffee maker, very practical, I think you’ll like it.”

“I’ve seen your coffee maker, Blaine.”

“Strange...” Blaine hummed to himself, drifting off. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” David asked. 

“I’m honestly going to cut off contact with the next person to ask me that,” Blaine replied half-heartedly.

“Is there something you aren’t telling us about that guy?”

“Kurt,” Blaine gritted out.  _ That guy.  _ They kept calling him  _ that guy.  _ He wasn’t something that could be encompassed in a generalized two words. He was  _ Kurt.  _

“I’m sorry. Kurt. He seems like a real douche-”

“Stop!” Blaine raised his voice unexpectedly. “It was just a one-night-stand. That’s it. I met him, we talked, and slept together. He didn’t--doesn’t owe me anything.” Hearing the words come out of his own mouth made it all too clear: Kurt was gone from his life forever.

* * *

With every passing day the more personal the questions about Kurt became. Wes and David knew there was something more than what Blaine was telling them. They wanted to help, but there was no helping him.

As he lay awake the nights that followed the party, Blaine couldn’t stop thinking about Kurt. Blaine had never felt for anyone the way he felt about Kurt. Was he going mad? Was he so starved for affection that he would fall for any guy who’d give him attention? Blaine scratched that idea, he’d met many guys before who seemed interested, but none of them were Kurt, and that was the problem.

He thought about trying to find him, but it was no use. All he knew about Kurt was that he went to a school for fashion design and that he had a friend who goes to NYU, but he couldn’t remember their name. It was hopeless, like trying to find a needle in an 8.4 million straw haystack.

The emptiness continued for a few weeks, but rather than focusing on what Blaine was missing, he focused on the future. He focused on graduation and finding a new place to live, on telling his parents he was moving out and moving on, on learning to sing again. 

His first karaoke night with Wes and David was the most fun he’d had since the night of the party. The bar reminded him of Kurt, and whenever someone went up to sing he imagined Kurt on the stage singing to him. But after a while he drifted back into reality and forced himself to forget, because that’s all he really could do.

Exactly three weeks later and two weeks before graduation, he decided to tell his parents he was moving out.

It was difficult at first, but once his mouth started moving words began to spill out like milk across a kitchen table.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were unhappy?” His mother said over the phone, her voice sincere.

Blaine paused. Why didn’t he tell her? “I guess I didn’t want to disappoint you,” he answered quietly. Maybe that was the reason. Was that the reason? Where was Kurt when he needed him…

“Oh Blaine, we...if we had known.” She sighed. 

“But you did know. You knew I wanted to be a performer. You knew that was important to me. The only way to get myself to New York was to go along with your ultimatum. Now I’ve wasted four years doing something I hate. And it’s not your fault, because I should have been strong enough to pursue my dreams on my own.” Was he strong enough now? “I just didn’t see any other way at the time. I was young…and naive…” Blaine drifted off, he couldn’t keep his head in the past, he was the only one with control over his destiny, he had to to choose his own path. 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “That’s why I’m not accepting any more of your money.”

* * *

And thus was the start of Blaine’s new life, even though the old one hadn’t entirely ended yet.

His first job was at the diner. Cynthia surprised Blaine with the job, telling him he didn’t have to take it, but if he needed the extra cash the position would be open for him. Of course he couldn’t refuse. 

Blaine was on his way to creating the future he wanted, even if Kurt was never going to be a part of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you like this story PLEASE hound me to write more because that's my biggest motivation. I'm honestly sorry I never went back to finish this story, but at least I'm aiming to do that now.


End file.
